


Suffering Sappho

by DollyPop



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Background Relationships, Canon Jewish Character, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, JacKim, Jewish Character, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Character of Color, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Romance, Sid/Spirit, SoMa - Freeform, TsuLiz - Freeform, Unrequited Love, Wedding Planning, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 13:46:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9387815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DollyPop/pseuds/DollyPop
Summary: “You can’t plan the wedding of the woman you’re in love with, Azusa. It’s sick.”Azusa Yumi would do anything for Marie Mjolnir, including planning her wedding to Franken Stein. When Azusa gets called back to Death City to plan the ever-anticipated Stein-Mjolnir union, in an interfaith, Jewish wedding, of all things, she penciled in the sob sessions. She just didn’t think that they’d include Nygus, looking all too inviting, with a box of lotion-infused tissues.As Azusa tries to navigate her complicated, painfully one-sided feelings for Marie, via floral decoration and Kosher cakes, she starts to realize that, maybe, reciprocated love has been right under her nose for all too long. She just has to go through a confession, a handsy florist, the ugliest Maid of Honor gown in existence, and too many cookies to get there.





	1. Chapter 1

_“You are the girl that I’ve been dreaming of  
Ever since I was a little girl”_

* * *

 It was the worst day of tiny little Yumi Azusa’s life. She was going to die. She had killed a grand total of twenty-four Kishin, a solid sixteen of them all on her own, and she was going to die. By all accounts, reaching over for the fruit cup that sat in front of her and slowly finding a way to drown herself in it seemed like the best option available to her. It was awful. It was miserable. It was-

“Perfect,” Marie breathed out, her eyes looking faraway as she stared into the distance. Slowly, with the meticulous absentmindedness that lent to all of Marie’s grace, her finger looped round and round the curl of her somewhat frizzed, golden blonde pigtail.

Perhaps it was too early for Azusa to request a suicide mission from Lord Death. Maybe he’d take mercy on her when he’d see that she was already dying, day by pitiful day.

“Oh, god, are you looking at him, _again_ , Marie?” Kami asked, her mouth scrunched to the side, and Azusa could almost feel the storm brewing in the distance. Thunder clouds were going to form. The world was going to crack open beneath her feet.

If there was one thing Azusa knew without a doubt, it was that, while Kami and Marie were close friends, willing to fight someone to the death for the other, there was one thing that they both differed on.

And they’d fight about it to the end.

 “You know. . .I’m gonna marry him one day,” Marie declared, her voice concrete, solid as though she were pronouncing that the world was round, or the sky was blue. What was more surprising was that Kami almost snorted her entire milkshake in one go.

“W-what?” she asked, choking on the coffee-flavored drink she had been guzzling just a moment before.

“I’m gonna marry him,” Marie repeated, and now, her eyes lit up, almost glowing. “And you guys will be my bridesmaids! I’ll wear white and you guys can wear yellow and we’ll braid flowers in our-“

“Are you loopy? Did she stay out too long in the sun?” Kami asked, finally turning to the other silent companion at the table. Unfortunately for Kami, Nygus wanted little to nothing to do with the conversation. Probably, she was just interested in getting to class on time without destroying half the school in the process.

“Are you surprised?” Nygus asked, her voice almost deadpan, and Azusa shot her a look from across the table. If all of them were negative, Marie would surely get angry. And when Marie was angry, things started getting broken.

“It’s never gonna happen!” Kami said, all too loudly, and Azusa looked around, willing everyone staring at them to stop. She didn’t want to be the center of attention when her two friends were getting into a brawl. Especially when the object of Marie’s affections was just a few tables over, seemingly immersed in his sketch-pad.

Marie turned to look at Kami with a hurt expression. “What’s that supposed to mean? I will!” she insisted, and Kami’s lips curled. It wasn’t as though it was uncommon knowledge that Kami despised Stein with as much passion as Marie liked him. It was just volatile. And unfortunate.

And always without a filter.

“What?” Kami spat, her fingers curling into fists. “Marry Freaky Stein? Yeah, maybe when the actual apocalypse is upon us,” Kami finished, and Marie’s brows furrowed angrily.

“What are you trying to say? Am I that unmarriageable?” Marie asked, snarling. “That I’ll die old and alone and barren with a hundred cats? Huh? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

Azusa scooted back in her chair, the sick squeal it made easily alerting everyone in the general vicinity. Not that they didn’t already know. But now, even Stein’s head came up, his expression still as lazy as ever, though with something unreadable in his eye.

And, Kami, seemingly noticing her mistake, lifted up her hands in the universal gesture for peace.

“Woah, woah! No! It isn’t you! It’s him.”

“What _about_ him?” Marie asked, shifting from furious to defensive immediately. Because while Marie was protective over her future, her potential marriage being the most well guarded gem in her crown, she was infinitely more protective over her prospective groom.

“Marie, really? Look at him!” Kami said, barely doing anything to mask the irritation and heat in her voice, raising it higher and higher. “He’s not good for you!”

“There’s nothing wrong with him,” Marie said, shifting her gaze over to where he was sitting, alone as usual, before she snapped her sight back to Kami. “And you aren’t my dad, Kami! You can’t tell me what is and isn’t good for me!”

“Marie,” Kami started, sounding all too much like a mother explaining math to their young child, “he’s actually crazy.”

And at that, any semblance of calm Marie had dissipated, and her soul hummed with electricity. Nygus and Azusa locked eyes at the exact same moment, the two of them pushing away from the table, mouths opening to try to calm the bomb before it went off.

“Marie, what Kami means to say is-“

“You know she doesn’t mean it-“

“Of course I mea-“

“It was just a slip of the tongu-“

But it did little to help.

There was nothing to do but brace for impact.

“So what?” Marie asked, looking Kami right in the eyes, and the question clearly jolted her. Kami brows furrowed, and she looked confused.

“So. . .what? So he’s crazy! He’s dangerous,” Kami insisted, but Marie didn’t let up. Her stare was practically unearthly.

“Because he’s crazy?”

“Yes!”

“So what? So what if he’s crazy? We’re all a little crazy. He’s not dangerous to me.”

“God, Marie, are you really that disillusioned? He’d cut you up in your sleep without a second thought! He’s dangerous with a capital D!”

“Why? Because he likes things you don’t?” Marie asked, and her soul puffed and swelled so much, from the corner of her eyes, Azusa saw Stein’s attention lock on them, her mouth opening to warn Marie. But the other girl barreled on. “Because he looks different?”

“Marie-“

“Because he makes morbid jokes?”

“Death, Marie, calm down-“

“He didn’t do anything to you!”

“He beat up more kids than I can even count, Marie!” Kami said, finally standing up, her chair toppling behind her with a loud clang.

“He’d never do that to me!” Marie shouted back, also standing, but her chair squealed in protest as it was kicked behind her, the two of them deadlocked, leaning toward each other with their arms shaking as though ready to strike.

“Listen to yourself?” Kami scoffed, her voice dipping down so low, even Azusa had to strain to hear it.“You sound just like a battered girlfriend! Will you excuse everything he does, Marie? All because you’re in love with that _freak_?”

And with that, the silence was overwhelming. Marie’s soul shimmered with the coiled anxiety of a cobra preparing to snap, and her usually warm, kind, caring eyes had narrowed to dangerous slits, her shoulders tense. Marie breathed in hard through her nose, glaring harshly.

“Because we’re friends. . .I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” she started, her shoulders shaking with the effort it took not to slam her hammer hand into Kami’s stomach, and the woman flinched immediately at the pure rage in her friend’s voice.

“Marie-“

“And I’ll prove you wrong, Kamiko Mori,” Marie continued. “I _will_ marry him someday.”

Kami sighed, shaking her head and gritting her teeth. “Yeah? Then I’ll pay for the damn wedding,” she said, shooting a glare at Stein from over Marie’s shoulder, her own dark eyes promising absolute annihilation if he dared ask what they were talking about. “You might wanna have lunch with your fucking boyfriend then, Marie. I’ll be in the library, waiting to kill him after you prove me right.”

“Kami-“ Nygus started, standing up and following after the other woman, doing little else but shooting Azusa a desperate look. Azusa looked down at her hands, fiddling with her fingers. She heard Marie sigh before the sound of the chair being dragged back to the table assaulted her eardrums. Then, nothing. Until-

“Azusa. . .?” Marie asked, her voice soft and hesitant, and Azusa looked up, spotting the way Marie’s mouth had twisted in the familiar way it always did when she was upset.

“Yeah?”

“You. . .you believe in me, don’t you?”

Azusa looked at her. She memorized every single feature of her best friend’s face: the soft lower lip, the cushion of her cupid’s bow, her rounded cheeks, warm with blush, her mismatched eyes, one brown and the other gold, the sparks of blond hair that flew into her face, curling into her blond lashes.

She wanted to reach out and grab the hand that was curled into a fist, sad, angry, tense emotions running through Marie’s body that Azusa wanted to will away with a touch, or a reassurance.

A kiss.

But then was not the time. It would never be the time. So Azusa forced her mouth to furl into a semblance of a smile.

“Of course, Marie.”

And that was all it took. How easily Azusa knew how to make Marie grin. Because she knew her to the bones, to the soul, to the marrow.

“Would you be my maid of honor, then?” Marie asked, her lips stretched over her teeth, which were practically glinting in the sunlight. And though Azusa felt as though something sick was bubbling in her stomach, especially when everyone was looking at them, especially when Marie looked so damn happy, she nodded.

“I’d love to!”

* * *

 If her damn alarm clock didn’t stop ringing sometime soon, she was going to chuck it out the window.

It must have been 4am. Or 3. Or some other ungodly time that no one and nothing should have to endure and Azusa determined that she was a good woman who worked her ass off and deserved a solid 9 hours of sleep, just like she planned.

She realized a moment too late that it wasn’t the alarm clock, but the simple ringtone she had set her cell phone to, and when she realized that someone was calling her, she determined that it had to have been a damn emergency or someone was going to turn up missing, presumed dead, within the hour.

Azusa yawned harshly, the kind of yawn that curled her toes and made her spine arch away from the bed as she groped on her side table for either glasses or cell phone. Either would be fine, frankly. She couldn’t see so much as a foot in front of her without her lenses, and so her alarm clock looked like nothing more than a blur of LED squiggles that mocked and teased her.

Her fingers caught the cell phone first.

Perhaps that was for the best, she presumed. Ignorance was bliss, and all that jazz. As she snatched up her phone, cradling it in her palm with the delicacy of a rhino stampeding through the Serengeti, she brought it to her cheek after fiddling around with the buttons, presumably either hanging up or accepting the call from the fact that the ringtone ceased.

“Hello?” Azusa croaked into the phone, only to be met with general silence, save for some banging around in the background. “ _Hello_?” she asked, more forcefully. She would be damned if she was woken up at question o’clock by nothing but some weird sounds.

“Hello? Hey? Azusa?” someone said on the other side, and Azusa was almost instantly awake.

Oh, God, Marie. Oh no. Had something happened? Was she alright? What time was it for her? Late? Early? She was-

“Azusa? You sound super far away, hellooo?” Marie continued, and Azusa realized that she had brought her cell phone to her cheek upside-down and cursed softly, bringing herself up on an elbow as she rubbed some of the sleep from her eyes, turning the phone around.

“Yes. Yeah. Hello, I’m here.”

“Azusa!” Marie exclaimed, and though it was who knew what time, Azusa felt that familiar tendril of warmth curl in her belly at hearing how happy she was.

“Yeah-, yes, are you- is everything okay?” Azusa babbled, trying to sound more awake than she actually was, and Marie paused for a moment, seeing through her instantly.

“Did I- did I wake you up?”

“No, no-“

“Oh, I did! I’m so sorry, ‘Zusa!”

“It’s- it’s fine, Marie,” Azusa assured, though it went without saying that, were it anyone else, it would most certainly not be fine. “But is everything alright? Has something happened?”

Azusa could almost feel Marie’s grin through the receiver. “Well~” she sing-songed, her voice pitched high and playful. “Do you remember when we were just kids?”

Her brows furrowed, confusion blooming. “Um. . .when? How old? Marie, are you alright?”

“Yes! Yeah! I’m-oh, god, I’m more than alright, ‘Zusa! Do you remember- when we were 15, well-“ Marie stopped herself, speaking rapidly, “I was 15 and you were 12- and we were sitting at lunch and I said I’d marry him one day?”

Azusa’s stomach felt like a rock. The warmth that had trickled through her when she’d first realized it was Marie calling her had faded into a solid freeze that extended out through her very bones, the chill settling in every cell. She tried to swallow but she found that her mouth had gone dry all of a sudden.

“Well. . .yes-“

“I’m getting married!” Marie exclaimed, and Azusa swore that her eardrums would never recover from the onslaught of Marie’s high pitched squeal, but she knew that there was another reason that she had gone so numb.

“You’re. . .getting married,” Azusa repeated, sounding dumb even to her own ears.

“Mhm!” Marie said, enthusiastically. “Franken proposed! Oh, god, Azusa, you would never- it was so perfect. I mean, it wasn’t perfect-perfect because he’s probably as romantic as a rock most days but- oh, I’m just- ah! I’m so happy, Azusa! I had to call you immediately! I couldn’t wait! He was so sweet! And you should see this ring! It’s so gorgeous. It was his Nana’s!”

Azusa felt herself swallow, mechanically, breathe as she always did. The saliva pooled down her throat and she could vividly make out the sensation of her spit sloshing in her stomach. But the semi-falsified cheer entered her voice, regardless. Because Marie was happy, and who was she to take that away?

“That’s wonderful, Marie,” Azusa scrounged up, and it seemed to be enough because she could almost sense that Marie was glowing, radiating with joy.

It was the final nail in the coffin. Really, the pregnancy should have been the final nail, but Azusa had held out some. . .twisted sort of hope that it was just a passing fancy on Stein’s part. It was horrible for her to feel that way, hope that it was true, even, but everyone knew that Stein was- well, Stein was Stein. He’d been awful to just about everything and everyone.

Of course, in hindsight, it made all too much sense. Of course it wouldn’t just be a passing fancy on Stein’s part. For as long as Azusa knew him, and even as long as she’d known about him, Stein had few things he truly fixated on. But when he latched onto those things, he didn’t let go. Not even if it would kill him.

And Azusa, who had hoped and dreamed and wanted so badly for him to fuck up as he fucked up when he was 16, that, maybe, maybe, Marie would finally come to her senses and see that the woman of her dreams had always been in front of her, was half ashamed at herself, but mostly mortified and heavy.

On what planet would Marie Mjolnir, straight enough to give a ruler a run for its money, suddenly turn around and realize that, all along, the kind of love that she had been longing for, the kind of love in those crappy romance novels she read, and those equally as awful Romantic Comedies that she indulged in whilst sobbing into a grand total of three pints of Baskin Robbins, was right beside her?

Not this one. This was the planet where Marie Mjolnir got engaged. The planet where Yumi Azusa, her best friend and nothing more and never anything more, had to grin as she’d always grinned, and be proud of her best friend, and nothing nothing nothing more, as she got married to someone else.

“Azusa, I just- I could burst!” Marie said, gleefully, and Azusa could practically envision what was happening. Probably, Marie was in her pajamas, in her room, and had just fallen backward onto her bed, sighing dreamily as everything she’d always wanted was being handed over to her. “I told them!”

“Yes,” Azusa said, woodenly. “You did.”

“No one believed me, though! Ha! Joke’s on them, huh?”

“Yes. . .yes, it is.”

“You were the only one who believed in me, ‘Zu,” Marie said, the nickname fond and familiar.

And it send icy spikes straight into Azusa’ heart.

“Of course. . .what are best friends for?” Azusa asked, reaching for her neck, where she used to keep a chain with the half heart ‘Best’ on it. The one that Marie had given her back when Azusa was just 14 and Azusa’d treasured it for so long. She was glad it wasn’t the half with ‘Friends’ on it. As though she needed a constant reminder of the fact that Marie Mjolnir was forever going to be unattainable.

“So,” Marie started, almost sounding bashful. “Will you. . .you know? Still be my maid of honor?”

Azusa inhaled sharply, her mouth forming the ‘Yes’ before her brain could respond. She was on autopilot. Everything had faded into black and white and drabness. The darkness of her room was going to swallow her and she welcomed it.

The dramatics didn’t suit her, she knew. Azusa was practical. Azusa was clean, buffed nails and a job well done. Azusa was-

Azusa was so hurt she barely remembered ever feeling so empty. Because this was Marie. Marie Mjolnir. Marie Mjolnir who Azusa used to play cards with and smile with and who defended her from the bullies at school who said that her weapon form was stupid, or that she was a bookworm, a know it all, a bother.

But she wasn’t Marie Mjolnir. Or, at least, she wouldn’t be, soon. She was going to be Marie Stein like she always wanted. Like everyone always knew she’d be. Only Azusa was the one who foolishly held out hope, always wishing. Always wanting.

“Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Marie said, her voice practically bouncing, and Azusa managed to force a smile on her face, hoping it would spread into her own voice, which was probably all too hollow as of that moment.

“I’m happy for you, Marie,” Azusa said, and, somewhere, she thought she meant that. Because, no matter what, Marie’s happiness mattered all too much to her. It was important. She’d do almost anything-

“Well. . .if you really wanna make me happy. . .This might. . .this might be a weird question, ‘Zu. . .but. . .could you plan my wedding?” 

* * *

She hadn’t slept on the plane. Couldn’t, really. Her assistant, now in charge of both East Asia and Oceania and barely any experience under her belt was certainly freaking out at the new position, but Azusa couldn’t even find it in her to page the woman.

And if there was anything Azusa loved, unequivocally, it was a good, overly-detailed page. Instead, she was eating what she suspected was her entire body weight in cupcakes.

Agony, at least, was sweet. And crumbly. Azusa miserably shoved the remnants of her eighteenth cupcake into her gaping goober, chewing and getting crumbs down the front of her shirt. Across from her, one of the few people she could actually trust to confide in her pain, was having approximately 2% of her shit.

And it seemed she was fed up.

Nygus looked at Azusa sharply over the teacups that were in front of them. Azusa had gone through too much green tea in too little time and her bladder was going to explode, but not before her heart did.

Back in Death City.

Fuck, what rotten luck.

“And you said _yes_?” Nygus asked, having come to the end of Azusa’s retelling, mulling it over for only a few seconds, near incredulous. Azusa winced, the both of them going silent as the waitress came over and asked if they’d like more tea, a question Azusa instantly said yes to. Reaching for her refilled cup of tea with a grimace, she swallowed down half the contents in one go as the woman walked away, looking over her shoulder as though she were confused.

Which, by all accounts, she likely was. It wasn’t every day you saw someone put away your entire shelve of baked goods in only ten minutes. She should contact someone to be placed in a world record book.

“If I said no, Marie would be miserable,” Azusa pointed out, but it was muffled by the teacup, and it sounded all too gurgled.

Good. Maybe it would mask the blubbering in Azusa’s voice, instead.

“That’s sick,” Nygus replied. “And would you stop drinking tea, already? I’ve seen you eye that damn bathroom for ten minutes now.”

Slowly, the teacup came down, and Azusa’s face was revealed to the world, once again. Nygus only continued looking at her, her expression not letting up.

“Why did you say yes?” Nygus pushed, but Azusa just looked away, bringing her hands to her lap and sighing.

“Because I love planning-“

“Bullshit.”

“She’s- it’s Marie. And she was so happy. I couldn’t say no. She’s wanted this for over a decade now,” Azusa instantly edited.

“Yeah,” Nygus agreed, quirking a brow and tucking a stray dreadlock behind her ear. “But you can’t plan the wedding of the woman you’re in love with. It’s sick,” she repeated, and Azusa’s shoulders hunched in before she finally folded her arms on the table and, with a weary sigh, rested her forehead down.

“I know,” she said, and the muffled nature of her voice whilst her face was buried in her arms did little to hide the actual misery. “But I can’t back out, now.”

“No, you can’t,” Nygus said, and Azusa could tell she was nodding in agreement.

“Why did I agree to this?”

“Because you love planning.”

Azusa finally looked up, glaring.

“Too soon?”

“Hm.”

“Look. You _can_ say no. Tell Marie you left your cat in the oven and that the death has traumatized you to any further involvement.”

“That’s the shittiest excuse you’ve ever come up with,” Azusa accused.

“No, I’ve had worse.”

“Astonishing,” Azusa commented, reaching for her cup of tea once more, only to have Nygus reach over and hold the cup down.

“Who’s going to tell Kami?” she asked, and Azusa, who had looked death in the eyes, both figuratively and literally, almost felt a cold sweat run down her back. “Actually, on that thought, no one should tell Kami what’s happening.”

“Marie will.”

“You don’t think she’s still expecting Kami to pick up the bill, do you?”

“No,” Azusa said, but dread, icy and cold and mildly feeling like indigestion was curling her gut. “No, she couldn’t possibly.”

“Okay, good. Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think it is.”

Yeah. Fat chance.

* * *

 Marie had been talking for a good forty five minutes and only now finally started to get to the end of her plans. Azusa had shown up with little more than her carry on, having left everything else in the hotel room, and Marie had barely said so much as hello before she’d immediately jumped into wedding conversations, informing her they only had three months so they had to make the most of it. She’d bounced around enough to make the floor shake.  “Oh- and Stein’s family eats Kosher, so we’ll have to keep that in mind. Golda’s always available for a call since she’s going to oversee the wedding!”

Azusa felt a headache coming on. “Okay. And what budget are we working with?” Azusa asked, dreading the answer.

“Oh, there’s no limit,” she replied, happily, and Azusa looked at her for a long time.

“You’re not. . .ah. . .thinking of following through with that bet you made. . .when you were a child. . .yes?”

“What? Of course I am! Don’t you remember how Kami said it would never happen? Well, I know we don’t have a layout for wedding invitations yet, but I already sent her one,” Marie replied cheerfully,

Azusa’s smile was slapped on like a cheap sticker. Three months to plan the wedding and two of them would have to be spent rebuilding the city.

“Great.”

Let the misery begin.


	2. Chapter 2

_“I could've been your girl_

_And you could've been my four leaf clover.”_

* * *

 She had done nothing to deserve this. Really. By most accounts, Azusa was a good woman. Sure, she didn’t attend any religious service or eat strictly vegan or volunteer at animal shelters, but she was a solid, respectable member of society.

Who was going to reach for the plate of beautifully presented cakes and ram the silver tray against her skull until she painted the entire damn bakery the shade of the pink velvet cake that the saleswoman had presented eight cakes ago with a smile.

Deep breaths, she told herself. Nygus, beside her, seemed to step in the slightest bit closer, as though trying to defend her from the crème-puff looking treats. But it wasn’t the cake that was killing Azusa. It was-

“What do you think of this one?” Marie asked, her voice high and giddy, and Azusa looked to the side where Stein rolled his eyes, clearly teasingly, and bent down to eat the cake Marie was offering, some of the frosting smearing from the corner of his mouth to his cheek. He chewed as though deep in thought, and Azusa’s grip around the clipboard tightened.

After a moment, Stein shrugged. His answer to every single cake Marie had presented him prior to this.

Azusa was going to either murder herself or everyone else, and from the looks of things, she was the only one. Marie made a noise similar to a scoff, but she was smiling, all the same, reaching up and gently thumbing away the frosting Stein had left behind.

“Well, no wonder. You barely ate any of it at all,” she exaggerated, grinning up at him. “Messy eater to the end, hm?”

Stein crooked a strange, unsettling grin at Marie, but she only seemed to find it endearing.

“Mmm, what kind was that one?”

“Spiced vanilla,” the saleswoman spoke up, seeming all too eager to jump in and make her pitch. “With hazelnut and chocolate, as well as whipped Italian meringue buttercream. With a hint of orange.”

Stein seemed to pay her no attention, and Marie just kept smiling up at him.

Stupidly, blissfully happy.

Azusa wanted to choke on her own tonsils, but she settled for cramming as much cake as she possibly could into her mouth, instead. Marie didn’t even look at her, or ask her what she thought of the cakes. All the better. Most of them tasted exactly the same: delicious. Azusa was craving fattening food that she would regret come morning.

And a shot of whiskey.

And a shot.

“Is it kosher?” Marie asked the saleswoman, but her eyes were still locked on Stein’s, and he was still looking down at her, as well. They hadn’t unglued themselves from each other’s sides all afternoon, and Azusa had to watch Marie feed her fiancé random slices of delicious, stupid, goddamn bridal cake.

The saleswoman nodded enthusiastically, and Azusa saw, from the corner of her sharp, all-seeing eyes, that Nygus had elbowed Spirit on the side when he tried to reach for her own plate of samples.

“Get your own,” Nygus hissed under her breath.

“Of course!” the saleswoman replied, looking all too bright and cheery for Azusa’s liking. All too soon, her plate of cake had been inhaled, swirling around in her stomach.

Not for long if Stein and Marie kept up their gushy, gross, lovey act.

“Do you hear that, Franken, it’s kosher!”

“Joy of joys,” Stein replied, and at least Azusa could close her eyes and pretend that he was really being genuine with how sarcastic he was. But Marie just laughed, pushing at him softly.

“Come on. We need to pick a cake. I’m only planning on getting married, once, you know! It’s a big decision.”

“They all taste similarly sweet. Besides, I thought you wanted wedding challah?” he asked, though Stein had a horrible habit of making questions sound like statements, and Marie’s brows went up.

“That’s right! Oh my god, how could I forget?” Stein didn’t say anything and after a moment Marie simply nodded. “We can have both. Are you okay with both?”

“Doesn’t matter to me. Sugar abound.”

Azusa could almost see the saleswoman’s eyes lighting up at the idea of a bigger sale, and she was about to pipe in with the fact that, truthfully, Kami was already going to flip her lid (and they were all just waiting for the fallout of _that_ particular mess) at this all being put in her name, the last thing they needed was to splurge, but Marie had looked up at Steins face and giggled, reaching up and wiping away some more stray frosting before popping her finger in her mouth. Azusa could see how Stein’s eyes were following the motions, and her stomach rolled uncomfortably as Spirit awwwwed from beside Nygus.

“I think you’re the sweet one, here,” Marie said, standing up on tip toes as she curled her fingers against Stein’s shirt, and he leaned down to meet her in the middle, their lips brushing.

It was a goddamn _cake shop_ , for Lord’s sake. Azusa made a choked sound, sure that all the crumbs that she’d shoved down her throat were going to come back up with a hell of a vengeance.

“I- I’m going to the bathroom,” she managed to spit out, and then she was flying out of the room, dropping her clipboard next to the empty cake tray, running away from the scene of Marie kissing- kissing-

The bathroom doors wouldn’t open fast enough, and Azusa felt her palm slam against the wood before she realized that she had to turn the handle. As she’d just barreled directly into the thing and no one had made any sort of sound indicating that they were inside, she presumed that it would be completely safe to invade said bathroom.

She barely managed to hold down her dry sob until she got inside, closing the door behind her and not even bothering to lock it before she slid down the back, feeling as though something inside of her was being culled out with a desert spoon, slowly, piece by piece. Maybe she’d have been less hurt if Stein had just dissected her without any anesthetic than what she had just seen.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t do this. Why, on what planet, why had she assumed she could? Marie was getting married and maybe being her bridesmaid would have stung but at least she would just be an accessory in the damn wedding and not the person single-handedly making certain that Marie Mjolnir would finally marry Franken Stein.

Marry Franken Stein.

And not her.

She heard a knock on the door before Nygus’s tentative voice called out. “Hey. . .the cake didn’t agree with you?”

“Go away,” Azusa said, her voice cracking just barely as she curled her knees close to her, hiding her face in them. She felt foolish. She felt like a child, again. She felt like a drama queen. Who did she think she was? What did she think she was doing?

“Azusa. . .let me in,” Nygus said, still trying a softer approach with her, but Azusa shook her head, despite knowing that Nygus couldn’t see.

“Just go back. Tell them I have- I don’t know. Just- just leave,” she hiccupped, burrowing her face deeper into her arms.

“No. Let me in, ‘Zusa. You and I both know this isn’t the worst that it’s gonna be.”

The fact that Nygus was being so indelicate with her stung, slightly, but it also reinforced her. She was right. Once Kami showed up, got the invitation as well as the bill in the mail, it would be hellfire. Not to mention wedding dress fittings and Azusa would have to book the bridal shower and-

She ran her palms across her eyes, taking in a few deep breaths. “I’m fine. I simply need to-“

“I have tissues,” Nygus cut in. Then, more knowingly. “And eye drops.”

Azusa thought about it for a moment. But she figured that, hell, Nygus already knew she was sobbing her eyes out. What was the harm in letting her into the tiny cubical of a bathroom to help out a little bit? Slowly, Azusa leaned against the wall, holding herself up before she caught her footing and smoothly came to her feet, stepping away from the door to, instead, situate herself on the closed toilet.

Pitiful. Reduced to this over- over baked goods.

“It’s open,” Azusa remarked, but Nygus was already turning the door handle.

“The Kleenex have aloe in them.”

“Delightful. You planned ahead,” Azusa commented, but took the offered pack as though it were a peace offering.

“I carry them with me regardless. First aid, and all. But, yes: it was relatively obvious you’d be. . .emotional today.”

Azusa sighed heavily, covering the majority of her face with the tissue. “I feel like I’m fourteen again.”

“Well. . .we all saw this coming, ‘Zusa,” Nygus said, firmly closing the door behind her and locking it on the off chance that some woman needed to relieve herself. Poor luck for her, Azusa assumed.

“I know,” she said miserably. “I just never wanted to plan for it.”

“You didn’t have to agree to plan the entire wedding, you know,” Nygus pointed out.

“Yes, well, who else?” Azusa replied bitterly. “Spirit would turn it into a Vegas blowout with Marie’s wedding dress as a pair of floral pasties. Sid wouldn’t even know where to start. Don’t even talk about Kami. And you’re just. . .you’d be bored out of your mind.”

“This is why professional wedding planners exist,” Nygus insisted, slightly more gently. “It’s not too late to back out.”

“It is,” Azusa said, with a fierceness that burned. Why she was so adamant to plan her best friend’s wedding, the wedding of the woman she loved, she didn’t really know.

Okay, so she did. A little bit. Because she was holding out some naïve hope that by doing so, Marie would finally realize that what she was looking for, someone who understood her enough to plan her dream day, someone who was always there, was right beneath her nose and it could be like a scene from Me Before You, where the main female character leaves her fiancé to go off with her female florist, realizing that men weren’t what she was interested in in the first place.

And, if not such a happy fairy tale ending, at the very least, maybe Azusa could finally work through her attraction to Marie.

Because, clearly, seeing the woman getting practically naked before trying out wedding lingerie was certainly going to do that.

Nygus looked more than skeptical. “It’s not too late. You’re just being stubborn.”

“That’s me,” Azusa muttered. “Queen of the Committee Chairman. Follows the rules to a T.”

“Where in the rule-book does it state that you have to cry your eyes out in a bathroom?"

“Oh, come off it, Nygus,” Azusa said, wanting for her tone to hurt, wanting to hurt something, anything, so she wouldn’t be the only one.

“Azusa. . .whatever happy ending you’re envisioning between you and Marie. . .” Nygus said. “She’s straighter than uncooked spaghetti. She could give rulers a run for their money.”

“I _know_ ,” Azusa groaned.

“And this is what she’s dreamed of since we were kids.”

“I know! Okay? I know! I know she loves him and has wanted to marry him for forever and she had those stupid notebooks full of ‘Mrs. Franken Stein’. Okay? I was there, damnit! I was holding her hand through it all and-“ Azusa felt the lump in her throat get larger and larger. “I just wish it wasn’t like that.”

Nygus, who had been steadily coming closer and closer, looked at her with something akin to sympathy. And also something. . .less easily identifiable. “Why not just. . .ruin it all, then? You’re in charge. Why not mess everything up?”

“Because,” Azusa said, her voice cracking clean in half. “I want her. . .to be happy. Even if it isn’t with me.”

* * *

 Selflessness, it would seem, did not grant her immunity from the suffering station that was planning the wedding.

If she thought the cake shop was bad, there was no amount of training in Azusa Yumi’s life that could have prepared her for the sight before her. She might have had a few weeks to wrap her head around it, try to prepare herself, but, well, thinking up scenarios didn’t prepare her for the actual thing. She’d stared down monsters, fought them easily, not even a single thought of hesitancy, no flinch response. Azusa had learned how to turn her words to weapons, everything inside of her a shield.

But there was nothing to hide behind, no weapon form to mold into to keep her reverent look off of her face.

“Well?” Marie asked, bashfully, swishing the beautiful satiny fabric around her. “Is it the one?”

It was the first wedding dress Marie had ever tried on in her entire life. It certainly didn’t even zip up. In the corner, the sales attendant kept a firm eye on the clips that contoured the dress to Marie’s body, hips free but waist nipped in, breasts full and near spilling out. The straps of Marie’s coral-colored bra peaked out, despite the fact that she had insisted upon a strapless dress.

“It’s. . .” Azusa started, her fingers going near white as she clenched them.

Nygus, as always, was the one to save her, and she could feel her clean, florescent blue eyes cutting over to her, flaying her to the very heart, red and wet and beating hard.

“It’s just the first one,” Nygus said, smoothing over the magic of the moment, and Marie’s near awestruck expression soured slightly as they looked at her in the mirror.

“But- it’s pretty, isn’t it?” Marie asked, smoothing her palms down the crisp material, trying to ease away the slight bunches that settled where her hips dipped out. Azusa cleared her throat, shoving her feelings to the side for a mere moment.

“I was under the impression you’d wanted a backless dress, Marie,” Azusa said, and that was safe, simple. Facts were easy. Marie had talked about her perfect wedding dress since she was fourteen and Azusa first met her.

Back then, when they played marriage, Azusa was always the one in the jacket, and it was all she could imagine. The two of them, sometime in the distant, hazy future that they likely wouldn’t even get, what with their career fields, at the end of an aisle. It was why Azusa started wearing pant-suits in the first place, well-tailored to her far less impressive curves. She’d never had much want for a dress, but Marie could make a believer out of anyone. Truthfully, she could wear a pillow-case, starched and stained, and still look like someone from a magazine.

Marie pouted at her from over her shoulder, and for a moment, a simple, bare instant, Azusa could almost pretend that they were a thing, that the dress she was wearing was meant for Azusa’s eyes first and foremost.

“I did. . .do. . .but I want to try other things out, you know?” she asked. “I don’t know what I’d look best in.”

“You mean you don’t know what Golda would approve of,” Nygus said, easily, and Marie blushed down to the shoulders, huffing slightly.

“Okay, so this isn’t the one,” she decided, looking over at the sale’s associate and smiling softly. “Could I try the next one, please?”

The woman nodded, crisp as anything and utterly no nonsense. It was clear that she wasn’t there for puffing up Marie’s ego and, in a lot of ways, that was certainly better for her in the long run. Azusa watched as Marie quietly stepped off of the stool that stood before the large, three mirrors she’d been looking in, gingerly making her way over to the dressing room with slight difficulty.

Okay, much difficulty. She was short as anything, and the gown was clearly for a woman thinner and taller than her. Marie, in contrast, was built curvy and short.

Azusa’s eyes lingered on the slight exposing of Marie’s back as she walked away, and then she felt Nygus’ stare turn into one that was more pointed, and Azusa met her eyes.

“What?” she asked, but the defensiveness had seeped into her voice, indicating that she knew exactly why Nygus was giving her such a look.

“Are you going to volunteer to undress her physically, or just with your eyes?” Nygus asked, and Azusa felt the heat bluster at the back of her neck.

“Shut up,” she answered, mature as anything, adjusting her glasses.

“Oh, come on, ‘Zusa, I thought you did this so that you could get _over_ Marie. Not try to get under her.”

“Hey!”

“Just telling it like it is. I hear it’s a characteristic that you rather admire in others,” Nygus replied, and the slightest smirk itched at the corners of her mouth. Mere teasing.

Azusa rolled her eyes, going to snark back, but the door opened once more, and Marie walked out, dressed in what appeared to be an exact replica of a cake topper.

Well, that certainly made her less attractive. Azusa could at least cool down.

“It’s atrocious,” she said, simply, even before she could step up on the stool, and Nygus snorted, holding back her chuckle.

“Now that’s just rude,” Marie said, but she couldn’t keep a straight face when she actually looked at herself, trying to hold down her own giggle.

“They gave you all the tulle in the world, Marie,” Azusa shot back, and Marie, who would usually respond with a punch in such situations, only shook her head, laughing.

“Ny?”

“I’m with ‘Zusa, Marie. ‘Fraid to say.”

“It really is fru-fru, isn’t it?” Marie laughed.

“Horrendous.”

Azusa tapped at her knee as she saw the sale’s attendant already make her way back to the dressing room, but Marie made a pose, instead, sticking her leg out, barely making her toes peek out from under the massive ballroom bottom of the dress.

“What, you don’t think I can seduce someone in this?”

“I think you could seduce some birds since they’ll want scrap for nests,” Nygus said, and Azusa honestly chortled, the sound so sudden upon her that she couldn’t even help it. The three of them shared a quick laugh as Marie shimmied, her breasts near popping out of the top of the gown, which was encrusted with enough crystals to make a rich man jealous.

The saleswoman cleared her throat, lifting a brow, and Marie gave her a sheepish look, biting her lip as she made her way back to the dressing room.

The second the door closed, however, Nygus snorted.

“She looked like a bird.”

And Azusa couldn’t help but laugh and laugh.

Selflessness might not have made it any easier, but at least Nygus did.

* * *

The first bridal shop proved bust, and the sour woman that had been helping them seemed only all too happy to get them out of the store. None of the gowns that Marie tried on after the fact did anything at all to her figure, and certainly didn’t match what she wanted. There was another fitting in a few hours, but first-

Oh, first, Azusa had to sit in what she determined was the itchiest fabric in the entire world. It was disgusting. The price was a crime, for starters. But the dress itself, god, it was like all the horrible bridesmaid tropes threw up on it after being shoved in a blender.

Marie didn’t have too many bridesmaid bridesmaids. In fact, she had decided just to keep it confined to her close friends. Which Azusa believed meant that her personal misery was confined to her, Marie, and Nygus. But what Marie failed to mention was that she had decided to also have ‘junior bridesmaids’. Or ‘bridesmisses’, as she called them.

And they had a completely different atrocity on.

The truth was that they all sort of knew what they were getting into. Oh, yes, that was certainly true. Marie had asked if it was okay. And, a few weeks ago, it was. When she plopped down the picture, it didn’t look nearly as bad as it actually was.

What Marie had showed her and Nygus was a butter-yellow dress, one with a few ruffles on the skirt, with a modest bodice that extended out to the shoulders in a wide boat cut. The sleeves were modest, as well, coming down to the elbow, and the dresses weren’t flared out so badly that Azusa would feel particularly uncomfortable.

False advertisement, and now, it was too late. The dresses were here.

They were just being tailored for them. 

Over Marie’s head, as she squealed over how precious they looked, Nygus and her shared a miserable look.

The reality of the dress was that it wasn’t butter-yellow, but a strange, dark color, more like the exact shade of piss when one didn’t hydrate for a good two days. The undertones of brown worked particularly badly at Azusa’s complexion, making her look sick, revealing the more mustard shades.

On Nygus, the shade itself wasn’t so bad. Her skin was glowing in contrast, and brought out the warm undertones of the dress. But the shape- good lord. What Azusa had thought would be a wide boat cut neckline was actually a strange mixture of square and off the shoulder, resulting in one sleeve consistently slipping down as the other bunched. And instead of flaring out at the hips, as Azusa assumed, the shiny fabric of the dress shirred at the unflattering cut a few inches down from her waist, making her look pregnant and flat-assed at the exact same time. The ruffles, which Azusa had believed would be light cuts across the skirt, slashed diagonally across the bottom in such a wide arc and with so much fabric, she might as well be dancing Flamenco.

On Nygus, it was equally as horrendous, except the rouching at her bust where the dress was draped was puckering horrendously, making her look as though her breasts were torpedoes.

“Oh, you two look precious!” Marie squealed, grinning.

Azusa looked down at herself. “Are you _insane?”_

“What? You look cute!” she insisted, looking over at Nygus for affirmation, but Nygus didn’t say anything, only remaining silent as the seamstress looked around, lifting the gown up against her waist, trying to see what she could do so the ruffles on the skirt wouldn’t be lost.

On the other side of the store, being attended by a different seamstress was the bridesmisses, dressed in much simpler dresses. Maka, Tsubaki, the Thompson sisters, and Jackie and Kim were, instead, in slate gray sheaf dresses, and giggling.

Azusa’s mouth twisted.

“Marie, this isn’t what I agreed to,” Azusa said, simply, and she saw in real time how Marie’s expression dropped.

“You don’t like it,” she said, and her singular eye looked so sad that Azusa almost couldn’t find it in her to answer that, of _course_ she didn’t like it. She hated dresses. She hated _this._ She wanted to be in a suit. She’d much rather be the one Marie was kissing at the end of the aisle instead of the one who was going to watch her get kissed.

But, as always, it was Nygus who looked at her, her head shaking just slightly, and Azusa hid her fist in the skirt, taking a second to sigh.

“It’ll grow on me,” she lied, but it didn’t seem to appease Marie. In fact, when she noticed that Azusa wasn’t really looking at her, instead right over her head, she turned to look at Nygus, her brows drawn together.

But Nygus made her face blank, lifting her arms when the seamstress requested it of her.

As Marie looked from one of them to other, she said nothing.

* * *

Frankly, Azusa should have known that Marie would be in a funk after the scene at the tailor’s, but she was exhausted, and she didn’t much have it in her to try to keep jumping through hoops. The wedding was in just three months, and there was too much to do for Azusa to have an excess of patience.

She was, mostly, confused as to why Marie didn’t just slap down what her dress design was on some designer’s table and call it a day. After all, someone else was paying for it. If Kami fell through, and Azusa had no doubt in her mind that she would, because their stupid bet had been made several years ago, too long ago, too many tragedies ago, and Kami knew better.

But, even if she fell through, Stein’s family offered to pay, and so did Marie’s. Azusa wanted to say she was looking forward to meeting them, but she really wasn’t.

Was there anything she was looking forward to when it came to this wedding? 

“Marie, this is the 28th dress you’ve tried on,” Azusa said, a sigh catching in her throat as Nygus held down a yawn.

“Yes, well, I need to find the perfect one,” Marie defended, seeming barbed. Were Azusa near her, she wondered if she’d be punched for making such a comment. Marie hadn’t been consistent for the past four dress shops. And, really, who booked _six_ wedding gown fittings in _one day?_

And, on top of it all, who did that whilst also neglecting to mention the little tiny fact that she was pregnant? Marie wanted to get married as soon as possible, but even if she was barely a month and a half along, being near 5 months pregnant and getting married was going to be a disaster on her seamstress.

It would certainly help if she had mentioned it to the sales attendant, who was nodding along as though Marie had divested the ultimate wisdom. Clearly, she didn’t seem as though she were going to run out of stamina anytime soon.

Azusa’s teeth almost grit together. This dress was a mermaid style, so tight around the thighs that Azusa swore she could see them jiggle, soft and perfect, beneath the thin fabric as Marie shimmied. At the last shop, she’d wanted large, flouncy ballroom gowns, the kind that swallowed the sight of any kind of hips. And at the one before that, she’d insisted upon sleek, clean A-lines and well-fitted gowns. The previous, slinky, flapper-esque dresses that hung off her frame and bagged at the waist, and the one before that, conservative dresses that covered her bust and shoulders and back, beaded to high heaven and loose at the waist.

How many different kinds of dresses did the woman need?

“No, this isn’t the one, either,” Marie said, sagging slightly. Though Azusa had been working with her over various ideas for a few weeks now, knowing how picky her friend was, she was getting fed up.

“Marie, why not just commission one made from scratch as you originally planned?” Azusa asked, taking her glasses off and wiping them with a cloth she had in her pocket, rumpled as anything. When Marie froze, however, Azusa could only squint. Her single indication was Nygus, likely narrowing her eyes.

“Yes, Marie. Why not?” and the icy tone of it reminded both of the women just why Nygus was the one working in intelligence.

Marie slowly turned around just as Azusa put her glasses back on, able to take in the expression.

“Um. . .well. . .see. . .we need to bump up the time of the wedding.”

“What!?” Azusa asked, and were she holding her pencil, it would likely snap. Three months was already considered crunch time by near anyone’s standards, but now it had to be accelerated? They were already on week three!

“Yeah. . .um. . .by a few weeks.”

“How _many_ weeks, exactly?” Nygus asked, calm as anything even though Azusa was about to rip up the entire shop. Marie, looking all too innocent all of a sudden.

“Um. . .about a month?”

“A _month!?_ ” Azusa asked. “You mean to tell me I have five weeks to plan this wedding and I have yet to meet with the Rabbi?”

“Golda should be here soon! I mean- she knows we had to bump it up.”

Oh. Oh this was not good. This was very not good. “Marie, a dress needs to be _tailored_ in that time! We’re going to have to rush a seamstress!”

“Well- I mean, you guys’s dresses are almost done! There doesn’t have to be too much alteration done. .. and the kids, too.”

“So,” Nygus started. “You mean to tell me that you still need to pick a venue, a wedding dress, talk with the rabbi about an interfaith marriage, have your wedding dress altered, invitations sent out, and flowers picked. . .in the span of a few weeks?”

“Well. . .we already sent out invitations,” Marie said, and before Azusa could hyperventilated, she kept going. “And, I already talked to Golda! She’s on board and has her own ideas. We’re planning on mostly listening to her!”

“You need a dress,” Azusa said, only. In her mind, she was already thinking of the list of dress-makers she knew, some of the ones who owed her a favor. “Pick a dress and we need to have it altered. Now.”

“But,” Marie said, looking from Azusa to Nygus. “Nothing has been right, so far?”

“You didn’t _ask_ for what you wanted!” Azusa told her, and Marie looked somewhat taken aback by the sharpness in her voice. In the corner, the sales attendant looked uncomfortable.

“Um. . .ladies?” she asked, and Marie turned around to face her. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“We need a dress,” Azusa said, simply, and she could tell that Nygus was holding her tongue, trying not to snark that, yes, that is generally why people go to a dress shop in the first place.

“What kind of dress?” she pressed, and before Marie could say anything, Azusa had already taken over.

“Ivory. Beading at the waist. Strapless and backless. Semi-long train. No lace. Not too shiny. Sweatheart neckline,” she rattled off, from memory, and the saleswoman looked at her, unblinking for a while.

“Oh,” Nygus added, sounding somewhat amused. “And she’s pregnant.”

Azusa wouldn’t want to be that sales attendant at that particular moment, who only turned to see Marie nodded slowly.

“. . .I’ll see what I can do.”


	3. Chapter 3

_“She tastes like birthday cake and storytime and fall_

_But to her I taste of nothing at all”_  

* * *

 The beginning of the end, Azusa realized, was when the families came to Death City a good two weeks later. Because, naturally, it was an entire affair. They were scheduled to show up yesterday, but with some delayed flights and trouble regarding lost luggage, meeting them was postponed for today.

Azusa didn’t really know why she was so. . .nervous. It wasn’t like meeting Marie’s family was something that would affect her, much. She wasn’t Marie’s partner, so she didn’t need to win their approval. And Stein’s family:  that held no bearing for her, either.

Azusa looked around, her perfect, all-seeing eyes trying to find something to comfort her.

Someone, she finally understood.

Oh, that was the difference. Nygus wasn’t there. Something panged inside of Azusa, the kind of ache that only rung a little dully. She frowned. That was right. There was really no need for her to be there, after all.

Still. That didn’t mean Azusa didn’t want her there. Through it all she was. . .comforting.

Azusa blinked, suddenly confused, looking around the large room that Kid had allowed her to use as he was off with meetings with various witches. Liz and Patti weren’t around, either, aiding him as muscle. Gallows Mansion was empty, and she was alone, awaiting Golda and Marie, Stein and Marzipan and Arthur and Erik.

It felt infinitely more hollow, however, as though the world were going to narrow in on her.

Odd.

She didn’t remember feeling that way, before.

She didn’t have much time to dwell on such, however, considering the simple knock on the door, and Azusa almost dropped her clipboard, standing up swiftly, walking to the door with a quick, easy stride, despite the sudden confusion inside of her.

No. She had a job to do. Azusa Yumi backed down from no planning and nothing else other than that, besides. She was a woman who knew how to prioritize. Shoving aside any thoughts save for satin ribbon and tulle and placecards, Azusa opened the door, revealing the mismatched group before her.

Well.

So that was what their parents looked like.

“Come in,” Azusa said, simply, scanning the group with her eyes. Stein’s father was easy enough to spot, the man looked exactly like Stein. The both of them even nodded at her at the same time, uncanny. But the first person through the door was a tall, regal looking woman with such white-blonde hair that Azusa could have sworn it was clear thread at first with the slightest shimmer and shine. From the Hamsa at her throat, she could only assume this was Golda, and the woman came bustling through.

She heard a soft, tinkling laugh, like bells, and spotted another tall woman, this one a brunette with warm, caramel eyes. “This place is beautiful!” she commented, and the accent on her words, undoubtedly Swedish, solidified her as Marzipan, Marie’s mother, and she looked down at her daughter, saying something in Swedish to her, to which Marie only blushed and the final man laughed heartily.

“Oy!” Azusa heard Golda say, looking amusedly at the group. “Marzi, what was that?”

“Mama, no!” Marie insisted, trying to hide her face behind her hands, but Erik laughed.

“She said: ‘What a large home, Marie. Perhaps one day you’ll have one like it. And enough kids to fill it with!’”

“Papa!” Marie said, her blush burning at her cheeks so sweetly. Stein, in return, only snorted.

Golda laughed, as well. “Well, they’ve already started, haven’t they?! Happiness is many, boychik.”

“Mother-“ Stein said, simply, and Azusa didn’t know he could even _get_ flustered until all of a sudden he _was._

It was so strange.

“Bless you kids. Well, let’s not keep Miss Azusa waiting!” Marzipan said, immediately making a beeline for Golda and plopping down on the couch. “We have a wedding to plan, don’t we?”

Golda nodded and watched as the rest of the group moseyed on over, leaving just Azusa standing. When they had all settled in, their eyes looking at her expectantly, Azusa stood up straight.

“So, I’m under the assumption that, because of the interfaith nature of this marriage, there will be certain customs in-“

“Don’t worry, darling. I already wrote it all out,” Golda said, smiling as she set a large stack of papers down on the table. “It’s unconventional, naturally, but I think this should do.”

And, just like that, the whole group dove for some of the papers, leaving Azusa speechless. All her plans of talking about the research she’d done went right out the window as the group leafed through it all.

Erik spoke up, first. “I believe there might be a problem.”

Azusa’s heart bottomed out. No. No problems. Problems were bad.

“Hm?”

“In our culture, the bride and groom walk down the aisle together, not with their parents.”

Golda’s eyebrows went up. “I didn’t know.”

“Yes,” Marzipan said. “I see you have both of us walking with them?”

Arthur was the one who nodded, this time. “We walk Frank down, first, and Marie walks last, with you two.”

Azusa looked at Stein and Marie, who seemed to busy looking over something or other and talking under their breath, and only when Golda cleared her throat did they look up.

“Yes?” Stein asked, and Golda lifted her brow.

“Would you like to walk down the aisle with your parents, boychik, or your bride?”

Marie blinked a few times as Stein glanced at her, eyes mischievous as though he were about to say something inappropriate, so she cut him off.

“Um. . .Golda-“

“You can call me ‘mom’, now, Marie,” Golda laughed, and Marzipan giggled along, the two of them looking all too proud as Marie colored pink.

“I- well, I just wanted to ask. . .how much flexibility do we have with this?”

“With the processional? It’s already rather unconventional. I’m the rabbi overlooking the wedding so. . .I say quite a bit.”

“Because I’d already- um, made a plan for the procession.”

Golda raised a brow. “You didn’t tell me, Marie.”

“It’s a combination of a bunch of stuff, I guess,” Marie said, and Azusa could feel, sudden as a bolt of lightning, how Stein’s soul had swelled, likely brushing against hers’ and giving her comfort as she pitched her ideas to Golda. “It’s just that I invited some of my students to be honorary bridesmaids.”

“That sounds like a lovely idea, Marie,” Marzipan assured, and Marie smiled at her mother.

“But had you decided how you’ll walk down the aisle?” Arthur asked.

Marie clearly didn’t, so this time, Stein stepped in. A perfect tag-team. “We’ll walk together,” he said, and Marie looked up at him in surprise. “She’s adopting many of your customs, Mother, perhaps we should adopt more of hers.”

There was a general silence for a quick moment before Golda’s face cracked into a large smile. “That’s a very good point, boychik. I’d be happy to do so.”

“Well,” Erik said, finally looking like he actually approved of the man who would be his son-in-law, after a disastrous first meeting that Azusa heard about second-hand, they certainly seemed to get along, now. “Then you will need to give two rings at the end of the aisle for her. One for marriage and one for pregnancy.”

“Well, one’s a tad belated, wouldn’t you agree?” Arthur quipped, and suddenly Marie looked like she was trying to hide her face in her collar as Stein laughed.

“And I see we agree very strongly on how many speeches there should be.”

“Oh, yes,” Golda said, nodding. “Speeches are very important.”

“We love our speeches.”

“Our cultures would get along just fine, then,” she replied, smiling softly.

Marzipan nodded enthusiastically, and Azusa watched the entire scene unfold. They all looked so comfortable with one another that she couldn’t help but feel like an outsider.

“Oh!” Marie said, suddenly. “Does this mean I can wear the flower crown, Mama?”

“Oh, yes! Wedding crowns are important,” Marzipan piped in, and, finally, _finally,_ the group looked over at Azusa, looking like they had gelled more than she could have ever gotten them to. Marzipan, still gleefully leafing  through all the blueprints, her eyes sparkling, spoke to her. “You’ll need to get infinitely more flowers, then, now won’t you?”

* * *

 

 “So, we need white roses and chrysanthemums for the bouquet and myrtle leaves for the crown,” Azusa read off, looking at her clipboard and leafing through some papers.

“Actually, could I see a splash with some daffodils or sunflowers? A bit of color might be nice,” Marie said, changing the plans on the poor woman last minute.

Again.

“Of course,” the florist only said, and when Azusa looked up from her paper, she noticed how the woman was batting her eyelashes at her. Rosalie, her nametag had read, one of the best florists in Death City, rumored to be able to make flowers grow even in sand, a desert turned into an oasis in her little flower shop, tucked off to the north of Death City. Apparently, a lot of big name clients had breezed through her little shop.

If Azusa was on the job, and, really, really determined, she’d try to sniff out some magic that might be brewing, but as of right that moment, Rosalie seemed to be the only person who could help with Marie’s extravagant demands. Allergies had been checked, bouquets had been planned and then replanned, splashes of flowers as centerpieces of the tables were thought of and then scrapped, then tentatively brought back.

Marie had brought three florists to the absolute brink already, and with the wedding suddenly accelerated, it was even more so.

But Rosalie met every challenge head on, crossing and recrossing her legs from across them before she got up, her green eyes lingering slightly on Azusa.

When the crossbow turned to look at Nygus, determining that she wasn’t going to sneak a glance at Marie in her sundress, billowing loosely around her middle, the knife seemed to be. . .less open than usual.

“What crawled up your ass?” Azusa whispered, and Nygus looked at her quickly, too quickly. Azusa realized just then that she had actually been keeping her eyes off to the side, watching Rosalie and Marie as the two of them walked around the shop. They’d carved out a solid two hour block of time to talk to this damn florist, and the bill was going to be as extraordinary as the bridal bouquet Marie would carry, and the baby bouquets that she and Nygus would, and then the baby baby bouquets that the bridesmisses would also have, and then what kind of flower petals that Angela and Pot of Lighting and Pot of Thunder would throw as they toddled down the aisle and-

“Nothing,” Nygus replied, sounding sour.

“Mhm, yeah. I believe that,” Azusa replied, and she watched as Nygus’s foot bounced, up and down and up and down, clearly anxious about something. “Are you allergic to something here I didn’t know about?”

“No, I’m only allergic to peanut butter,” Nygus said, rolling her eyes and leaning back.

“Then why-“

“Oh! That looks lovely! Azusa, Ny! Come look at this!” Marie said, and both women in question looked up, seeing the combination of flowers that Rosalie had put together. Azusa blinked as she stood up, slowly walking forward, just as Nygus grumbled and followed after her.

The display was certainly unconventional, with splashes of deep purple and light yellow, creamy lavender and some flowers that were so translucent that in the light, they looked near-gray. It wasn’t what Marie had planned since she was a child, having banked on a bouquet that was made of daisies and baby’s breath, but this was. . .surprisingly nice. Azusa nodded in approval before she turned to Rosalie.

“You are very good at your job,” she praised, and Rosalie seemed to warm just slightly under such. . .not unkind but certainly not overly nice words.

“Oh, thank you,” she responded, her eyelashes batting at Azusa in a way that made her stomach flutter slightly.

“Yes- well. Is this what you’d like for your bouquet, Marie?” Azusa asked, looking away quickly.

“I don’t know,” she said, sounding unsure. As things started getting to the wire, she’d gotten less and less decisive over certain things. Azusa wanted to pinch the bridge of her nose.

“How about a combination of the original plan and this?” she offered, seeing Rosalie nod from the corner of her eye.

“That’s a splendid idea! Maybe Miss Azusa can help me as our bride looks around the shop?” Rosalie offered, and Azusa was about to decline, but Marie bumped her slightly with her hip before she could do any such thing.

“That sounds like a wonderful plan!” Marie announced. “Nygus and I will peruse the goods and Azusa and Rosalie can get to planning,” she finished, and Azusa looked at her just in time to see the slight wink that anyone who didn’t know her would confuse for a blink instead.

Wait. . .what did she think was going on?

“Marie-“

“Come on, Nygus!” Marie said, and just as Rosalie turned to get some of the blueprints for the previous plans, Marie mouthed ‘get it, girl!’ at Azusa, making her ears feel warm.

Oh- oh, Death, no! It wasn’t like that-

Rosalie was attractive, certainly, skin warm as a sunset and near the exact same shade, eyes clear and expressive but-

Azusa wasn’t ready to date much of anyone, let alone an attractive florist. What was she living in? Some kind of cheap romantic comedy that Marie was so fond of watching? But it was too late, Marie dragged Nygus away, giggling, and when Azusa met Nygus’ gaze, the other woman looked away instead of actually locking eyes with her, making Azusa’s brows furrow.

That was weird. Usually Nygus was the first person Azusa’s eyes could find in a crowd so that they could connect over whatever ridiculous situation they were currently in.

“So, what’s your favorite flower?” she heard Rosalie say, instead, and when Azusa turned to look at her, she noticed a second too late that the eyes she was searching for weren’t Rosalie’s green, or even Marie’s expressive, kind caramel, but eyes the color of deep water, blue and florescent and unmistakable.

Azusa adjusted her clipboard. “I don’t much like flowers,” she admitted, and Rosalie lifted her brow, smiling softly.

“Maybe I can find one you’d like? What’s your favorite color?”

“I don’t have one of those, either,” Azusa said, trying to keep herself from looking back at her two friends perusing African Violets and Geraniums. Rosalia’s laugh was sweet, like cool water, but nothing like the unabashed chortles she was accustomed to that came from Nygus when the two of them were really starting to laugh.

“My, you’re an interesting one,” Rosalie said, leaning over the counter and pressing her hand over Azusa’s, slipping a piece of paper between her fingers before Azusa yanked her hand away. “This may be. . .forward of me but, uh, maybe I can get to know more about you at dinner? Tonight?”

Azusa was taken aback, and suddenly felt as though she were 16 years old, again, so wanting for a girlfriend that she could hold hands with and smile with and giggle with. Of course, she’d dated, before. She dated her first Meister, Priya, and had a few flings in East Asia as the Death Scythe in charge but-

Wow, she was out of practice.

“Me?” Azusa asked, blankly, and Rosalie smiled at her.

“Yeah. I mean, if you’re busy with the wedding, of course, we can postpone?”

“I’ll- um- get back to you- about that, I mean,” Azusa stumbled, suddenly turned to mush the instant a pretty woman was focused on her. But, speaking of pretty women and focus, she could swear she felt eyes on her back, just before she heard a small crash and whirled around. Rosalie gasped.

“Did you knock over my Georgia Roses?” she asked, rushing forward, and Azusa found that, suddenly she could breathe.

Her eyes, always and ever, met Nygus’ from across the room, and for some reason, though her expression was blank, there was dirt on her hands.

She’d have to thank her for the save, later.

* * *

She hadn’t called the florist back. As much as she was upset about the damage Nygus had done to her shop, she was happy to arrange flowers and present the bill to them when it was all said and done, winking as Azusa fumbled over contact details and the monotony of general wedding planning.

Rosalie was pretty. There was no doubt about that. And talented. And _smart._ But Azusa just- 

It wasn’t the time. Even if a date to the wedding would have been nice, she didn’t feel as though Rosalie was the best choice, in that regard, and so Azusa simply stuffed the scrap of paper the woman had written her phone number on into the pocket of her pants that she accidentally washed last night.

When all she felt was relief instead of regret, she knew she was making the right decision. It was one less thing to worry about in the storm that was this damn wedding planning, and she’d set up base in Gallow’s Mansion by day where Marie would clip clap her way around the rooms and talk on the phone with the seamstress who was, finally, putting the final touches on the wedding gown Marie had somehow managed to find.

Just in time, too, now was the time for panic. The stylist had been hired, the makeup artist, the photographer. The florist was finished with, the general plans for vows and blessings and venues all worked over, and now, it was the minutia that Azusa had to worry about.

If asked, she’d say that’s why she’d been avoiding both Nygus and Marie.

“Okay,” Marie said, plopping down approximately five thousand and three journals before Azusa, which she accepted without even taking her eyes off of the registrar that she was reading over. “We have to talk.”

“About the florist? Marie, I lost her number-“

“No, ‘Zusa, not the florist.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Your great grandmother Olivia can’t sit next to-“

“No, we. . .” Marie sighed, finally sitting down across from Azusa. “We need to talk.”

At that, Azusa finally looked up from the papers she was reading, slowly setting them back down on the table. “Are you breaking up with me?” Azusa nervously joked, fidgeting in her seat. But Marie gave her an even look.

“Stop messing around. You know it’s not that.”

“So. . .what is this. . .about?"

“About how absolutely miserable you’ve been.”

Azusa blinked at her incredulously. “I haven’t been-“

“Bullshit. You think I can’t see the way you haven’t been sleeping?” Marie said easily, and Azusa sighed. “Is this about how you. . .don’t approve of marriage?” Marie asked. “Because, if that’s it, you don’t have to-“

“What? What? No. I don’t- Marie, what?”

“Don’t you remember?” she asked, looking at her in confusion. “You had said that the idea of marriage making a woman happy is old fashioned and-“

“No! Oh, God, Marie. No. Just- just do what makes you happy,” Azusa said, fidgeting in her seat, and Marie looked at her for a long moment.

“Then is this. . .about you and Nygus?”

“What about me and Nygus?”

“That you two are. . .you know. . .together?”

Azusa’s eyes flew wide open. “Wait, what? What? No-“

“But-“

“No,” Azusa said, more firmly. “We aren’t. . .like that.”

“But you’re gay?” Marie said, as though unable to understand how a woman interested in women wouldn’t be interested in just any woman. Not that Nygus was just any woman. She was brilliant and beautiful and- that was beside the point.

“Yes I’m- I’m like that. But it isn’t. . .she. . .”

“Nygus is like that, too!” Marie insisted.

“No,” Azusa hissed. “She isn’t.”

“What? Don’t you remember Isabella?” Marie asked, her blonde brows furrowing.

“The girl she was considering as a Meister? What about her?”

“They dated for like. . .four years,” Marie said, gently.

“What- no they didn’t,” Azusa said, but it lacked any kind of conviction. The truth was that Azusa had never noticed. During the time, when they were just thirteen and fourteen, mere children, Azusa had been too busy trying to figure out her own sexuality. She hadn’t much focused on anyone else’s.

Marie rolled her eye. “You probably didn’t even notice that Spirit had hooked up with Sid, either.”

“They did what?” Azusa asked incredulously.

“At all the parties?” Marie asked, shaking her head. “Why do you think they snuck off all the time?”

“Spirit and. . .and Sid?”

“Well,” Marie started, looking more than happy to indulge in gossip, even nearly two decades too late. “It was because Sid was in love with Nygus while she was dating Isabella.”

“But. . .” Azusa said, weakly, completely baffled. “Didn’t. . .didn’t Nygus and he date?”

“For like. . .two months,” Marie dismissed. “They said they were better off as Meister as Weapon. Personally, I think she still loved him for a while. I just. . .had a feeling. I’m good at knowing that kind of thing.”

Azusa, were she less bewildered, would have pointed out that Marie had no idea that Stein had been in love with her for years as she pined for him, both of them thinking it were one sided, but she was too hung up on all the new information.

“Just- just wait a second. Just- Spirit and Sid?”

“Hooked up. Occasionally. They didn’t date or anything.  Just snuck to the nurse’s office and-“

“Yeah, I don’t need the details of that one. And Nygus?”

“Dated Rosalie for a few years. Then Sid, for a few months.”

“She’s?”

Marie looked at Azusa critically. “If you’re asking me to tell you what sexuality she is, I think that’s better off coming from her.”

“Marie-“

“I just told you about Isabella because she’d literally introduce her as her girlfriend. She was out with it when we were in Shibusen. . .but I guess this means the two of you really aren’t together.”

“I. . .I told you,” Azusa remarked, still trying to wrap her brain around the information. Was that what Nygus had meant when she said she understood?

“I just. . .’Zusa, I feel like you’re miserable and you don’t talk to me anymore unless it’s about the wedding and. . .look, I don’t want you to feel like just because I’m getting married I don’t still love you.”

Azusa’s heart throbbed. She wished, with everything instead of her, that Marie either loved her more, in the way Azusa wanted her to, or didn’t love her at all. She could be selfish like that, sometimes.

“I’m. . .I don’t feel that way.”

“You can talk to me. . .you know?”

“Yeah,” Azusa said, looking down at her lap, and Marie sighed heavily.

“Just. . .my door’s always open, you know? I’m not gonna push.”

“Thank you,” Azusa said. And for a minute, she almost believed it.

* * *

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Azusa asked, face unreadable, and Nygus looked up from the papers she had in her hands.

“Hello to you, too.”

“Why didn’t you tell me just why you could understand?”

At this, Nygus finally set the papers down, making her expression blank. “In what way?”

“In the way that. . .you like girls, too.”

Something flashed in Nygus’ eyes, relief, maybe. Or disappointment. That might not have been the answer she was looking for, but she continued on nonetheless. “That’s simplifying it a bit, but yes, I suppose.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? And what do you mean simplifying?”

Nygus shrugged, looking unperturbed. “Pansexual isn’t usually a phrase a lot of people tend to know.”

“You’re pansexual?" 

“Mmm,” Nygus hummed, rolling her shoulders and yawning softly. The late night conversations they’d been having must have been wearing down on her.

“Why didn’t you. . .”

“Tell you? I thought you knew,” Nygus admitted. “Marie knows.”

“Marie’s. . .Marie.”

“Oh, yes. So observant, that one. Took her fourteen years to realize Stein liked her back and has yet to figure out, after sixteen, that you’re also in love with her.”

“I mean she remembers everything,” Azusa said, the tiniest twitch of irritability coming over her.

“Why does it matter? Do you want a historical document of all my sexual encounters since we met? What business is it of yours who I do and don’t have interest in?” Nygus grilled, all with a straight face. It was times like then that Azusa understood most deeply how the woman had been placed into Intelligence so quickly. She was damn good at her job.

Azusa sighed, frustrated. “No,” she emphasized. “Just that. . .it would have been nice to know just how deep you understood. That’s all.”

Nygus looked at her for a beat too long, her eyes looking faraway. “Yes, well. You must be less observant than I thought to have missed just how gay I am,” Nygus teased, and Azusa scoffed, feeling the general easy-going nature of their relationship returning.

“I thought you were pansexual?” Azusa teased back, and Nygus gave a small laugh.

“You know what I meant.”

“Yeah,” Azusa said, not realizing that she was smiling. “Yeah.”

* * *

If there was any kind of reprieve from the stress, before, it was certainly gone, now.

Barely a week left till the wedding and, really, Azusa was at the end of her goddamn rope. And maybe everyone could tell because she was drinking coffee like a woman deprived and constantly surrounded by papers, such as then.

Marie was out doing something with Golda and Marzipan, likely bonding or- hell if Azusa knew, she had enough shit to worry about without keeping track of exactly where she was at every hour of every day, and so she was left to double check the seating plans with- well, not exactly her favorite person in the world.

And she was _done._

“And they call _me_ a masochist,” Stein remarked, lightly, whilst looking over the ridiculous list of guests that Azusa had compiled as well as the flower list and the dinner menu.

“If Marie wants to deal with that much extended family-“

“Ah, yes, her as well, but I was referring to you,” Stein said, bluntly, and Azusa didn’t even blink, only going to adjust her glasses, certain a glare bounced off of them.

“I enjoy organization,” she said. “A hobby perhaps you would be best off adopting as well, considering all the fiascos you’ve been the sole cause of.”

“Well done, Committee, I almost believed that.”

Azusa glared at him, harshly. Recently, she’d developed less and less tolerance for Stein’s antics. Her ice had already been pretty thin regarding him when she’d found out that he and Spirit had been the ones to allow the Kishin to be revived, but now, with him marrying Marie, it was as though she considered his reciprocated feelings for her to be even more of a crime 

“If you’re going to speak in circles, I suggest you do so whilst validating the seating list.”

“I’m merely referring to the fact that you are arranging the wedding for a bride you harbor romantic feelings for,” Stein said simply, looking over the seating list as Azusa’s heart stopped. “And Marie’s third cousin twice removed can’t sit next to her fourth cousin, they fuc-"

“ _Excuse_ me?!” Azusa all but squawked, her voice pitching all too high.

Stein continued as though she’d said nothing. “And Horace said he’d sooner sit Shiva for me than come to the wedd-“

“What did you say?“ Azusa asked, pressing. And, normally, she wouldn’t be so affected by it. Stein was a little shit almost all the time. This was no goddamn different. And yet- “I don’t have romantic feelings for Marie,” she insisted. But Stein only continued looking over the papers.

“The entire menu is Kosher? I’m impressed.”

“ _Stein_ , I-“

“’Don’t have romantic feelings for Marie’,” Stein finished for her, finally looking over the paper to regard her with that same soul-searching look that Marie always gushed about. “I heard your lie the first time.”

Her glare could have murdered someone in their shoes, and she opened her mouth to argue once again but he beat her to the punch.

“Your soul gives you away.”

Azusa stopped breathing. She felt like her heart was going to climb up her throat and expel itself onto the floor. She thought Stein would probably find that particularly fascinating, too, but she was too busy trying to keep herself from hyperventilating into an early grave.

Stein flipped the page, almost casually. As though it were nothing. As though he hadn’t just voiced the fact that he knew that-

“I. . .I don’t,” Azusa reiterated, trying to sound more convincing. “I don’t love her.”

“Now you sound like me,” Stein said coolly, and Azusa felt dizzy, ready to pitch herself off of. . .God, off of anything. Where was the nearest cliff?

There was utter and absolute silence. Enough to hear the slightest shift. Azusa’s blood was rushing instead of her, her pulse pounding so heavily, she was sure Stein could hear the rush in the stillness. But he only continued leafing on through the list that Azusa had made before he reached the end, sitting it all down.

“Well, everything is in order,” he remarked, and instead of dread, Azusa felt a hard, angry knot settle in her.

“Why would you say that?” she asked, her eyes too intense.

“I would think you’d appreciate knowing the seating list-“

“Not that,” she barked. “The- saying I- and Marie. Saying that. Why would you say that?”

“Because Marie is inquiring constantly as to why you seem so depressed and none of us want to inform her it is because you’ve been in love with her since the DWMA.”

Azusa could have choked. She could have spat. “So you- what? Wanted to tell me everyone knew but her? Wanted to rub it in my face? Isn’t it bad enough the two of you are getting married?”

The fact that he only looked at her, as though- as though patronizing or to inform her without words that he knew all made her boil.

“Oh- Fuck you!” Azusa said, finally, tossing her clipboard to the side, standing up to her full 5 feet and 7 inches, and Stein stood up straight, his near 7 foot tall frame dwarfing her, his face going blank. But she wasn’t dettered. “You get to say it so easily as though it means nothing and I have to make this wedding the wedding of her dreams and you just have to stand there and accept her love and you’ve done nothing to deserve it,” Azusa said, all but hissing.

“Committee,” Stein began, but his calm only made Azusa more angry. “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”

She felt like she’d never been so unhinged in her life. Prim and Proper Azusa Yumi. The Azusa Yumi who would do extra credit for fun. The Azusa Yumi who kept everything in order.  Her voice came to the angriest fizzle she’d ever known. “You don’t deserve her and you never have.”

And then her feet were moving moving moving. 


	4. Chapter 4

_“Take my hand_

_I cannot pretend_

_why I never like your new boyfriends”_  

* * *

 

In the end, it wasn’t Spirit, or Stein, or anyone else who came to find her, sitting outside in the dirt. She knew they wouldn’t. Stein really only had love in his heart for a very select few people, and so few people were scrambling around Gallows’ Mansion, anyway, that it would be foolish of her to expect a large berth of people.

But, as always, it was Nygus.

Azusa wondered when that became commonplace.

“You know, I could feel your soul here,” Nygus said, plopping down easily beside her, and Azusa’s soul almost curled over to hers. They had resonated, before, using Sid to filter their wavelengths together. It had been so different. Azusa was compatible with a lot of people. She was a good weapon. But she hadn’t felt a spark like that. Not before Nygus.

Still, all she did was grunt, looking off to the side and Nygus sighed, bringing her knees up and folding her arms over. “Cat’s out of the bag, hm?”

“It’s _been_ out of the bag,” Azusa replied, scathingly, and Nygus simply shrugged.

“Yeah, for us, but Marie still doesn’t know. And, anyway, you did this to get over her, yes?”

“Mira, for fuck’s sake- I don’t know _why_ I did this,” Azusa said, eyes prickling with something hot, but Nygus shook her head.

“That’s a lie. You know why you did it. And you’ve done a damn good job, Yumi, you know that.”

“What did it get me, in the end, then?” Azusa asked, hands shaking. She could feel Nygus’ gaze on her, comforting and familiar.

“You listen to me Azusa Yumi. You planned the wedding of Marie’s dreams despite being miserable through it all. You think that’s not strength?”

“I- I don’t want strength. Strength is overrated.”

Nygus sighed through her nose and looked up at the sky. “Do you remember when we were children?”

“What part?” Azusa muttered.

“When you would pine for her from across the table and she and Kami would get in fights and we’d try to hold our sanity together?”

“Yes. How could I forget such _splendid_ years?” Azusa asked, sarcastically.

“Well, I was miserable back then, too,” Nygus admitted, and Azusa finally paused in her pity-fest enough to study her expression.

“Why?”

Nygus looked nonchalant as she continued cloud watching. “Was in a similar situation as you are, now. Someone I liked was invested in someone else.”

Isabella was Azusa’s first thought. Then, she thought of Sid. But neither of that seemed right. Nygus had gone out with both of them.

“Yes?”

Nygus nodded, eyes far away. “Yes. And it never worked out, for me.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing. I did nothing about it. And then I met her again when we were both grown and she was gorgeous and smart and still invested in someone else,” Nygus admitted, and when she looked at Azusa, it was like she was looking both through her and directly at her soul all at once. Azusa, of course, was thinking of the sting she had when she saw Marie again, her crush rekindled, the fire fanned.

Straight women sucked.

“Yeah, that sounds familiar,” Azusa told her, and Nygus crooked a smile.

“I know. I was with you in the bathrooms when you cried, remember?”

“Hey, this isn’t my exclusive sob-fest anymore.”

Nygus finally chuckled, but it felt the slightest bit forced. “Yes, well. I’m not sobbing about it. If she loves someone else, I can’t do anything about that but be there for her, yes?”

Azusa nodded slowly. “Do you still love her, though?”

Nygus made a humming noise. “Yes. I would say we’re close.”

“That’s the most difficult part of it. Being unable to be apart.”

“Yeah, but- you don’t stop caring for someone just because they aren’t romantically invested in you,” Nygus said. “Only fuckbois do that, and I’m not Spirit.”

Azusa finally laughed. “No, you’re not.”

“And you’re not, either.”

Azusa’s soft smile was still on her face for a bare second before it slowly morphed back to her usual straight-faced expression. “What now?”

“What? Everything’s the same. You just feel better because you got to yell at Stein. Thanks for that, by the way.”

Azusa snorted. “He’s an ass. I don’t know what she sees in him.”

“She doesn’t. He stands on her blind side.”

At the old joke, Azusa felt the giggle bubble out of her, fizzy and soft, the kind of laugh she hadn’t had in a long time. It was one they made as children, too, all the time to cope. Nygus only kept looking at her with the smirk stamped on her face, making her blue eyes twinkle.

“Here’s hoping you can keep that humor when you finish the wedding plans.”

“Actually,” Azusa admitted, remembering suddenly why Marie wasn’t around: she had gone for her last fitting along with Golda and Maripan. “It’s just about done.” Good thing, too. There were only a few days to spare.

“Well,” Nygus said. “Then we have a rehearsal to organize, don’t we?”

Azusa didn’t realize at that moment just why ‘we’ felt so, so nice.

* * *

“Okay, okay,” Azusa said, looking at her wits’ end. “From the start!” she called out, and some of the bridesmisses looked, well, at a loss for what to do.

“But. . .Miss Azusa. . .Miss Marie isn’t here,” Maka said, and Azusa felt a vein in her forehead nearly pop.

“Yes, Maka. I realize as much. But that doesn’t mean you can’t all know how this procession goes. Now, Golda told me it was okay to have a processional like Marie’s family wanted, so we are taking this from the start. Soul!” Azusa barked, suddenly, and the boy all but fell out of his chair. “Take Pachabel from the start!”

Soul must have grumbled something because Maka looked at him and frowned, mouthing something at him that must have appeased the boy. His eyes should have been on the pages in front of him, not scanning about for his girlfriend.

Honestly, sometimes it astounded Azusa how much they seemed like a different couple she had regular headaches over. Nygus chuckled from the side, handing Azusa her refilled thermos of coffee.

“You look like you need this,” she all but whispered, watching as Maka waved at her boyfriend and Soul’s sour demeanor brightened just a tad. Though Azusa’s quick clearing of the throat was faint, it seemed to echo and Soul immediately set his fingers to the keys, looking bashful for just a moment before he started playing Canon in D from the top, piano hands gliding effortlessly over the keys.

Marie’s puppy dog look had done a lot for the wedding, but, to Azusa’s surprise, it hadn’t been her who convinced Soul to play. Seemingly, the only person who could really do that was Miss Maka Albarn, walking arm-in-arm with Tsubaki, the two of them grinning as Angela tottered in front of them, throwing up her hands in practice for when she would actually have a flower basket.

Behind them, waiting exactly four measures, was Liz and Patti, muttering something or another at each other and pointing, mouthing ‘love birds’ at Soul and Maka and- oh, for the love of Death, he still didn’t have his eyes on his damn sheet music. Spirit, all the way at the back, waiting beside her because they were meant to go last, was watching them like a hawk. She imagined that, by the poorly concealed hickey on his neck, Sid might have been a tad rough with him just a little bit ago, and that was why he was so complacent to it all. 

Then again, it was more likely that he didn’t notice the way Soul’s glowing red eyes following his ‘darling baby girl’ as she walked down the aisle with her best friend. Marie’s ideas just got more and more unconventional. Azusa knew, come the actual wedding in- Good lord was it really just a week and some change?- her dress would match the rest of the kids’, slate gray with yellow ruffling at the bottom and straps, because they all had to suffer in their hideous gowns, but at least the children were somewhat spared.

Maybe Soul would stare more, or maybe not, when she came out wearing that atrocity. Perhaps it would be more of a sight to him than Maka’s simple white button down and blue jeans.

Fuck. Now Azusa was the one watching for too long. Soul and Maka’s stupid ogling of each other was going to drive her bonkers, just like Marie and Stein ogling one another from across the room did the same.

Azusa looked around, suddenly furrowing her brows and bringing her hands over her head, passing off the thermos to Nygus in the blink of an eye, clapping loudly.

“Where,” she started, sounding deadly, “are Kim and Jackie!?”

The two were next in the order and nowhere to be found. If they didn’t go, then that meant that Pot of Thunder and Pot of Fire couldn’t follow them. And if they couldn’t follow, that meant that Nygus and Sid couldn’t follow, and if Nygus and Sid couldn’t follow, that meant that Azusa and Spirit (and she is loath to walk with that idiot) couldn’t follow and that meant that Stein was out a Best Man and Marie was out her Maid of Honor and- where the fuck were they?

Maka turned instantly, looking around. “Um-“ she started. “I can go find them-“

“No need,” Azusa said, already feeling a migraine coming on. “I will find them. Everyone rewind approximately 18 steps and stay exactly there. I will return.” She looked around, waiting for the group to go back, and when they didn’t she graced them with a glare, causing Maka and Tsubaki to ‘eep!’ as they immediately walked backward, bumping into Liz and Patti, who shoved them.

Azusa groaned under her breath. “Keep watch for me,” she told Nygus, and the woman smiled.

“I’m honored.”

“Yeah yeah,” she grumbled, turning around on her heels and bumping directly between Sid and Spirit’s linked hands, enduring their quietly offended ‘Hey!’s and simply stomping off.

God, she was so damn tired of love. It was like Valentine’s day threw up everywhere. Since when did everyone start coupling off? It was near obscene.

Azusa shook her head as she stepped outside. For the time being, they were practicing in Gallow’s Mansion, having shoved everyone out. Marie and Stein were supposed to be there, too, but for whatever reason, they weren’t, and Marie didn’t even call. This was supposed to be her wedding, damnit, and here Azusa was, giving more of a shit about it than Marie did.

A voice in her head told her that couldn’t possibly be true. Marie cared. Too much, probably. She’d had a meltdown over the dress just a few days ago when the designer called to tell her it might be delayed. Delayed wasn’t an option, really. Delayed was the last possible thing that could happen. They’d rushed the damn wedding a good three weeks forward because of Marie’s concerns over her baby bump and now they were on such a tight schedule it was a miracle that they were anywhere near goal.

Flowers. Check. Rabbi? Check. Room for the Yichud? Check. Dress? Working on it. Bridal Lingerie? Check. Honeymoon Lingerie? Double check. Seating? Working on it. Rehearsal? Gone to shit. Bride and Groom? Missing.

They were so close and yet so far. They’d found a venue, out on a beautiful, grassy hill where Stein’s nana, known to her and everyone else simply as Nana, told Stein she was happy to let him use his grandfather’s prayer shawl, a tallit, she believes, as a chuppah. That he would want it that way, were he still alive. Arthur had made enough jokes about broken glass and environmentalism to last Azusa a lifetime. The ketubah had been approved by Golda, as well as the decision for Stein to recite in Hebrew during the exchanging of the rings. Marie’s parents were delighted at the Mezinke dance and the lighting of the unity candles, the vows were decided upon and agreed to be done in Marie’s family’s faith’s style. It was all gelling and now-

Now Azusa heard someone sniffling.

Quickly, she looked around, walking forward. Lord even knew where she was.

She looked back at the building, noticing that she had come to the back. And just a little bit under the window was half of her missing group. Azusa raised a brow as Jackie looked away.

“Miss Azusa. I’m- sorry, I wanted some air and-“

“When did you manage to slip away?” Azusa asked calmly. She easily noticed the thickness in the girl’s voice, the way her breath would catch.

“Just- just a little bit ago,” Jackie admitted, and Azusa nodded slowly.

She was the worst person for this job.

Okay, well, not the worst. It could be infinitely worse. She could have gotten Spirit. Or Black*Star. Or Stein.

“Has something happened?” Azusa asked, looking awkward as she stepped forward, and Jackie immediately whipped her head over to look at her, something wet shining in her eyes.

“No-“

“Jackie, please. I’m not blind.”

Jackie’s lower lip seemed to wobble for a moment before she breathed out. “Kim. . .”

“Kim? Did something occur to Kim? Is that why she isn’t here?” Azusa grilled, realizing a moment too late that she had said the wrong thing. Jackie shook her head, her long hair fanning around her as she reached up and pressed the meat of her palms to her eyes.

“No. She had to- g-go.”

“Go? Why? Was there an emergency?”

“Her fucking boyfriend isn’t an emergency,” Jackie spat out, and Azusa was taken aback for a single second before the reality hit her.

Oh.

Oh, Buddha.

A baby gay. She was standing in front of a baby gay. Oh, fuck her sideways, this was the kind of shit she never thought she’d have to deal with.

Azusa looked Jackie over, the rigid line of her shoulders, her long, dark hair. It was. . .in a way, like looking at a curved mirror, one that refracted the past. Cut the hair and add some unflattering clothes and that would be Azusa standing there, trying to keep her tears from falling because the girl she liked would never like her.

Never did like her.

Azusa sighed, fiddling with some of the long bits of her bob. What would she have wanted someone to say to her when she was a child? That she was normal? Yes, certainly, but that wasn’t much a concern for the younger kids. Jackie, a solid decade younger than her, grew up, thankfully, in a world that didn’t shout that she was sinful, or wrong. Jackie, living in Death City, was surrounded by the cushion of soul partners, of acceptance. Hell, Azusa swore the only straight person she’d ever met in the DWMA was Marie. Even Stein was demi.

Just her luck.

And, it seemed, just Jackie’s. Because even though Azusa had only known her and Kim for a few weeks, now, anyone could see the way Jackie looked at Kim. And anyone else could see the way Kim never noticed. Or never cared.

“You like your partner,” Azusa said, but it was gentle, more like a question, and Jackie sucked in a deep breath, chewing on her lip.

“Is that wrong?” Jackie finally asked, letting her arms drop. Her eyes looked red. Azusa immediately shook her head.

“It’s not wrong.”

“I don’t mean- I don’t mean liking girls, in general. I mean- it’s okay to like your partner but- what if they like- someone else?”

Azusa looked at her for a long time. “I don’t have the answers you want to hear, Jackie.”

“Maybe you have the ones I need to hear, then.”

Azusa tipped her eyebrow up. “I assume you mean that you want to know if it is acceptable for you to love a woman who is in love with someone else. A man, specifically.”

Jackie played with the hem of her skirt, her eyes skittering around, not able to really look at Azusa. “Yeah. . .”

“It’s not wrong. But it isn’t good for you, either.”

Jackie looked down, finally fisting the material of her skirt. “I can’t- I can’t help it.”

“I know,” Azusa remarked simply. “But take it from me. Don’t fall for a straight girl. It’s pointless.”

“How would you know?” Jackie asked, and because fate fucking hated her, hated her always, it was at that moment that she heard heels clacking heavily, probably to the front of Gallow’s Mansion, following by the laughter of what Azusa had come to know to be the Golda-Marzipan duo. Azusa immediately scrambled to the side, glancing around the corner as the little group came running.

“Sorry we’re late!” she heard Marie say, looking at her. And of course, because her life was a ruinous cliché, one right after another, Marie had to be standing in just the perfect block of sunlight, the beams catching her hair, which was askew, a complete mess. Her collar was zipped all the way up, leaving bites over the collarbones and neck, no doubt. She’d needed to tell them, again, that concealer could only do so much, and unless they wanted the entire wedding to know just how Marie got pregnant, they were better off laying off the hickies.

This time, it was Jackie who was quiet as she looked at Azusa, a fact the older woman realized when she turned around, seeing the sad look on her face. “Oh,” Jackie said, and Azusa wanted to bite her lip. What damn business was it of this child’s to look at her when she was so- so-

Azusa wanted to curl her fist up. And she wanted to drink her weight in coffee. And she wanted this mess over with. And she wanted-

“Does it ever get any easier?” Jackie asked, and Azusa was about to say no. It never got easier when she called you in the middle of the night sobbing because yet another asshole broke her heart. Yet another man had come and ruined her, left his palmprints over her thighs and her back, over her chest, squeezing her heart in his hands until it ruptured. It never got easier. It never got easier when you brought her ice cream, stayed on her couch, put in time off to nurse her heart back to health so she could hand it off to some man who couldn’t cherish it, again. When you were right in front of them. Azusa was about to say that it never got simpler when you watched them pine from afar, sighing wantonly and aching for his hands and his heart and his home.

And then she realized that what she wanted, Azusa Yumi, aside from drinking her weight in caffeine, aside from going home, was a different woman.

Azusa breathed out. There was an ache, somewhere. She didn’t love Nygus. Did she? She didn’t know. Not like she loved (loves?) Marie. Right? It couldn’t be.

Azusa looked at Jackie for a long, long while, seeing the hope blooming on her face. If you’d asked her a month ago, two months ago, she would have lied, said ‘Yes’, it gets better.

Now, she’s honest. At least, more so.

“Yes,” she said, and Jackie’s eyes soften, slightly. There is still hurt there. So much hurt. And Azusa feels it, too, just deeper, fresher, more churned up. “Now, I think we should go to the rehearsal, yes?” she asked, and Jackie sighed, looking down and scuffling her shoes in the dirt for a moment.

“I have no one to walk with.”

“It’s okay,” Azusa heard herself say, thinking and thinking and unable to stop thinking. “I’ll walk with you.”

* * *

It was Nygus, as it was always Nygus, who noticed something was up with her when she came back to the rehearsal, but she didn’t feel like talking, much. Not to her. Not to anyone. For so long, so much of her life had hinged around an undeniable attraction to one specific person, and here she was, falling for someone else (maybe? possibly? God, she was _fucked_ ), yet another one of her friends. As they waited, between commands, Nygus had nudged her, slightly, barely noticeable, asking what was wrong.

Azusa only shook her head.

“Not now,” she’d say, and then they were walking.

Azusa felt like, even as her feet were moving forward, she really had no idea what direction she was heading, now.


	5. Chapter 5

_“All around the wind blows_

_We would only hold on to let go_

_Blow a kiss, fire a gun_

_We need someone to lean on”_

* * *

Marie was freaking out.

Okay, so maybe not _freaking out_ freaking out, but she was near hyperventilating. Nygus had stepped out to get her more coffee and the woman had been awake since 4 am in the morning, showering at least three times.

“Marie, breathe,” Azusa commanded, watching as the poor stylist they’d hired was trying to make a hair style that Marie would approve of. She’d already said no to three of them, even though she’d agreed to them all prior during the test runs that they’d scheduled a solid three days ago.

Today was the day. The dress was hanging up, having been finished just last night, and she’d likely still needed to be sewn into the very top, so Azusa had needle and thread handy, despite the fact that most of them couldn’t sew. Her makeup was already smudged from how emotional she was getting, Marie’s, not Azusa’s. The flowers were in place, the weather was amazing, Nana had even had her hair done. As much as weddings were things that usually went wrong, all things considered, this was a smooth transition.

“I can’t _breathe,_ Azusa! I’m getting married today. Oh, god, I’m getting _married_ today!”

“Yes. We’ve planned it for the past several weeks. You know you’re getting married today. You know your vows, you know the reception menu, you know all of it.”

“But what if-“

“Nothing bad will happen,” Azusa assured, and she tugged at her uncomfortable bridesmaids dress. God, she really, honestly felt her friendship was the only thing keeping her from just ripping the damn thing to shreds. She swore she would burn it when she was done.

“But. . .but. . .”

Azusa looked at Marie critically, in a way she hadn’t in a while. It had been a wild couple of days, recently, since the rehearsal. It had been calls to the people tailoring Marie’s bridal lingerie and stylists and makeup artists and all of it.

And, lord knew that Azusa almost had a _heart attack_ when Marie admitted that, actually, the reason Kami wasn’t here was because Marie had never actually _invited her_ , or sent her the damn bill, because she ‘didn’t want to put Maka through that’, and Azusa felt six years melt off of her life all at once. Apparently, saying that she was going to send her the bill was a joke. One Stein had insisted upon.

Azusa would kill her if Marie didn’t still need him.

And, now-

Well, now it was time to pull up the big girl panties.

Azusa clapped loudly, looking around the room. Golda was out, likely with Arthur, looking over the speeches and making sure that the chuppah was secured properly, and she’d taken Nana with her after they all got in their outfits. Marzipan had only stepped out for a second, intent on getting her daughter something to eat, because Marie was complaining about a very specific craving.

“Everyone out,” Azusa said simply, and the bridesmisses all looked at her. That was, except for Kim and Jackie, who had stepped out sometime a few hours ago, looking like they were going to have a very long talk. And Maka, who was probably off making out with Soul.

Instead, it was just Patti, standing guard at the door, having asked everyone what the password was, and Liz and Tsubaki sitting off to the side, legs tangled together as they quietly whispered and held hands.

“I will call you all back in in a moment,” Azusa said, tone no nonsense before she glared. “Understood?”

“Okay Miss Azusa!” Patti said, immediately throwing the doors open, probably to make her way to the coloring book she’d left somewhere or other that she’d fold up into the most elegant masterpiece, ever. Patti had been the one who folded almost all of the napkins into swans. The girl was a genius.

Slowly, everyone filed out, including a complaining hair stylist who left their comb in the big, fluffy curls currently frizzing atop Marie’s head, and the grumbling makeup artist with enough lipstick swatches on her hand to look like a crime scene. Azusa waited until everyone had left, the door closing with a harsh thud before she whirled on her friend.

“Get up,” she said, easily, and Marie wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

“What?”

“You need to get in your dress.”

“But- my hair?”

“Will be put in the original hairstyle you agreed on.”

“And my makeup?”

“Is already _done_ , Marie. You only have an hour and some change. Time to face the music. You’ve always wanted to be married, yes?”

Marie bit at her lip for a moment before she nodded. “Yeah.”

“So what’s the problem?” Azusa asked, rational as everything, and Marie curled her fists in her lap.

“I’m just nervous,” she said, to which Azusa lifted her brow.

“Bullshit. What’s the real reason?”

Marie was silent for a long time, curling and uncurling her hands. And Azusa was about to say something, again, in that big, quiet room, but Marie finally beat her to it after a few moments. “What if. . .what if he stops loving me, one day?”

“What?” Azusa asked, genuinely baffled.

“What if we get divorced?” she asked, looking up, finally, and Azusa stared at her as though she were insane. “I don’t want to get divorced.”

“No one wants to be divorced on their wedding day,” Azusa said, dryly.

“I know-“ Marie started, biting her lip.

“And divorce isn’t a bad thing. It’s always an option,” she continued, making Marie look at her, looking hurt as ever. “ _But_ ,” Azusa emphasized, “what makes you think that’ll happen?”

“I-I don’t know,” Marie said.

“Would Franken Stein ever marry you if he wasn’t in it for forever, Marie?” Azusa asked, her pragmatism seeping through, and Marie blinked at her for a moment before she shook her head.

“No.”

“So trust him, hm? The chances of the two of you breaking up is preposterous.”

It took another few long seconds for Marie to nod, and only then did she crook a smile, standing up. “Thanks,” she said, quietly, but Azusa only shrugged, stepping forward to where the dress was hanging, still in its bag, and unzipped it.

“If I have to be your reality check, that’s the easiest job of all this entire mess I’ve fulfilled, thus far.”

Marie laughed, the giggle sweet. “Yeah. Sorry I put you through the ringer, ‘Zusa. You really are a saint,” she said as Azusa quietly assessed the dress, and the situation.

A few days ago, she’d have felt her belly bottom out. A few days ago, she would have wanted to scream when she heard the quiet sound of Marie pulling her robe off, letting it fall to the ground. Instead, Azusa moved the bag away from the dress and pulled it off of the hook, turning to look at her friend.

She remembered going lingerie shopping with her and Nygus, the way her cheeks would warm when she saw Marie in lace and satin, ribbons and various styles, sheer and leaving nothing to the imagination, but now, seeing her wearing it on her wedding day, something was different. Not that Marie didn’t still look absolutely gorgeous. She did. In the end, she’d had some lingerie customized and tailored, and Azusa looked at the way the strapless push-up bra she was wearing made her breasts look perky and perfect, the way the matching hipsters clung to her hips effortless. She knew, were Marie to turn around, she’d see the jewel encrusted band of the bra that would show in the backless dress she’d chosen.

Marie was gorgeous, truly. In a way, it was beyond unfair that she was so achingly gorgeous and had never had anyone who would truly tell her. Azusa would have told her every single day. She’d run her fingers across the other woman’s jaw and tell her that she’s perfect.

A few days ago, Azusa would have been convinced that, now, Marie had chosen yet another man who could never wear his feelings for her. Azusa was firmly of the belief that Stein might love Marie, and Azusa didn’t doubt that even for a single minute, but that didn’t change the fact that he was. . .Stein. He didn’t know how to give the affection and validation that Marie so needed.

Or, she’d thought he didn’t.

Now, she knew, though, that he would probably take Marie’s dress off with the slowness of a man used to complicated surgery, run his fingers over the cups of the lacy, beautiful bra that Marie had so painstakingly worked to get. Reverent. Tender, even.

After all, he was marrying her, wasn’t he?

“’Zusa?” Marie asked, and Azusa finally focused on what her best friend was saying as she stepped forward.

“Hm?”

“Thank you. . .for all of this,” Marie said, and Azusa could see tears in her close friend. . .in her _best_ friend’s eye, and felt the slightest bit emotional, as well, especially when Marie lurched forward and threw her arms around her.

For a single instant, just _one,_ Azusa allowed herself to indulge in the way Marie felt. The woman was warm, and kind. Her arms were around her, her scent in Azusa’s nose, and her golden, wild hair was flicking in her face. Azusa waited a moment, tempted to push her away.

Instead, she sagged against her, letting the hurt inside of her, that fresh, angry wound that had been fresh and sad for so long, one she’d kept covered for so long that was finally revealed and allowed into the air, heal slightly. It still stung, but it was better than letting it rot in silence.

“You’re. . .you’re too good, you know that?” she asked, and before Azusa sucked in a deep breath. The entire time planning the wedding had been spent with her pining fruitlessly off to the side. It had been spent with her miserable and angry. She’d lashed out at Stein and Spirit and even Nygus.

She was tired of lashing out.

She was confused, and unsure of the future, but she knew that Marie was in good hands. Great hands. Hands she wanted to be in.

They weren’t hers, but that was okay. It was honestly, really okay.

So, she sagged in Marie’s arms, she relaxed against her completely and allowed herself the single pleasure of burying her face against the smaller woman’s shoulder before she moved away, refusing to acknowledge the heat prickling at her eyes.

“Thank me when this is all said and done,” Azusa said, immediately going back to the dress and keeping her hands busy by fumbling with the zipper on the dress that would curve over Marie’s backside, and held open the dress so Marie could step into it.

Marie, for her part, only giggled, smiling and dabbing at her eye, slightly. On the other, the one that had been lost when she was but a child, was a beautifully embroidered bridal eyepatch, white and gold with silver thread. Custom made, as well.

Azusa knelt down, slightly, feeling the disgusting fabric of her bridesmaid dress scratch at her legs, but she only focused on the floor as Marie finally stepped into the gown before she brought it up and moved to the back to zip her in. Marie’s hands held the bodice up, carefully aligning the top with her bra so she could carefully hook the two together, the only thing save for double-sided tape that would hold that dress up.

Azusa didn’t know how the bridal shop actually managed to work a damn miracle, but the dress was everything Marie had wanted, with a beaded sweetheart neckline and a smooth, satin train that trailed behind her. It had to be hemmed a solid foot down, which certainly was a damper, and adjusted at the waist with some ruching along the waist to account for the growing baby bump.

But other than that, it was perfect. It was everything. It was-

not zipping up.

“Marie,” Azusa said, simply, breaking the spell as Marie looked at herself in the mirror.

“Yes?” she asked, smoothing her palms down the satin.

“It won’t zip over your ass,” Azusa said, and Marie gasped, shoving her at the implication, leaving Azusa’s glasses askew as she fell back a few steps before Marie gasped, already saying that she didn’t mean it. Azusa only held her hand up, not feeling up to it that day.

“It has to zip!” Marie insisted. “I couldn’t have possibly gained so much weight,” she said, tears in her eyes as she reached behind her.

“Marie-“ Azusa started, feeling something dreadful pull at her stomach.

“It’ll zip up, ‘Zusa, I know it will-“

Riiiiiiip.

Well, fuck her.

“Oh my god. . .oh my _god. Azusa!”_ Marie squealed, looking behind her in horror, her mouth slack. “Oh my god I ruined everything. Oh my _god._ ‘Zusa! Zusa help!”

“Okay, okay- fuck. This is why we have needle and thread-“

“You don’t know how to sew,” Marie hissed, and Azusa’s only shook her head as she looked at the rip.

“You broke the zipper.”

“Oh, god, what am I gonna do. I can’t go down the aisle like this! My entire family is here!”

“Just- calm down.”

“How can I _calm down_!?” Marie asked, all but hyperventilating, and Azusa heard the door open.

“Hey, is everything okay in here?”

Azusa could have send God a thank you letter. Nygus. Salvation was never so inviting.

“Go get Stein,” Azusa said.

“What?” Nygus asked, in return, as Marie desperately tried to hold her dress together.

“Get. Stein. There’s a situation.”

Nygus was only quiet for a second before she made a sound in the affirmation. “Be right back, then.”

“What is _Stein_ gonna do, Azusa?” Marie asked, tears in her eye and mascara no doubt being threatened.

“He’s going to sew you into this dress.”

“There isn’t enough _fabric_ ,” Marie hissed, about to press her palm to her eye, only stopped by Azusa grabbing her arm.

“We’ll think of something-“

“No we won’t! The wedding is ruined!”

“Marie-“

“No, ‘Zu, oh my god I fucked up so bad-“

“It’s completely fixable. You have a half hour to sign the ketubah-“

“I’d apologize for intruding but I’m not sorry. I was informed of, quote unquote, ‘a situation’,” a dry voice rung out, and Marie immediately whirled to look at the door, all but wailing. As much as Azusa had issues with Stein, he was one of their only hopes at the moment.

“My dress ripped!” Marie said, the material of her skirt bunching from all the built in tulle.

“Did it?” Stein asked, nonchalant as anything.

“Did you not hear me?” she continued, and Azusa took a few steps back, all but bumping into Nygus, feeling her hand come to her elbow and steady her. “My dress is ripped!”

Stein looked her over, his eyes settling on her backside, where the sheer material of her panties was showing through and- oh, ew, she didn’t need to see the way he bit his lip. “I can see that.”

“There’s- there’s not enough material to sew me in, Frank,” Marie said, hoisting the dress up higher on her bust. “Oh, Death, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten so much peanut butter. It always goes straight to my ass.”

“The price of perfection,” Stein muttered, before he stepped behind her and kneeled down, quietly grasping the fabric that had ripped, gaping open to reveal her entire butt. Nygus made a gagging noise when she noticed the way the meat of his palms pressed into Marie’s flesh.

“Straight people are so _weird_ ,” Nygus whispered, and Azusa almost chortled. The fact that Stein was actually demi didn’t get mentioned. She knew that Nygus was only making a joke.

But there was no joke on Marie’s mind when she heard even more ripping, evidently, Franken Stein carried a scalpel even on his wedding day, and she shrieked.

“Frank! What are you doing!?”

“I had to remove the zipper,” he said, calmly. “You need to be sewn into this garment,” he told her calmly.

“Yes. But that was extra fabric! What am I gonna do, now?” she asked, only to be met by more ripping, and they could all see how that physically pained her. “Frank!”

“Calm down. That was my suit.”

“W-what?” she asked, and Azusa watched, mouth gaping open, as Stein reached over to the side where needle and thread was waiting and began to stitch a chunk of his suit, some fabric from his sleeve, to top it all off, right onto her dress, sewing her into the gown.

He only spoke once more when he finally stood up and shrugged out of his jacket, probably to sew up the ripped edge. Azusa would kill him if it wasn’t for the near awed look on Marie face as she turned herself around in the mirror, looking back. Stein’s expression was soft as he watched her.

“It’s patchwork. Something borrowed, yes?”

The way Marie looked back at him, Death, Azusa could almost _feel_ their resonance bring sparks into the air, and Marie slowly came close to Stein, the two of them soon to be bride and groom, in just an hour. Azusa looked at them, her lower lip relaxed, and felt, suddenly, as though she were watching far too private a display. She didn’t like Stein. Probably would have problems with him for the rest of her life. But Marie loved him, and despite it all- well, that was enough.

“Let’s go,” Nygus said, whispering in Azusa’s ear, and she only nodded in response. Were this a different wedding, Stein would never have come in, because of ‘tradition’. Were this a different couple, she knew things would work out differently.

They really were meant to be together, weren’t they? No one else could calm Marie like that so instantly.

Slowly, Azusa turned away, following after Nygus.

And realizing just a second later that her hand had never left her arm.

It seemed it was time to face the music, as she’d said, in more ways than one.

* * *

The ceremony itself- God, it had been beautiful. Azusa had never seen Golda dressed in her tallit, before, but the woman looked regal, standing tall and proud before the chuppah that Stein and Marie were beneath, and Azusa had looked out at the crowd, where Nana had cried quietly and Marie’s family had all smiled, getting a giggle out of the patch on Marie’s backside. 

Azusa didn’t think it would have gone so smoothly but- well, things had a habit of surprising her. The lighting of the unity candles, the circling ceremony, the _vows._ Stein had recited something in Hebrew, a blessing, she believed, and Marie had told him her vows in stumbled German. The wreath of flowers atop her head was beautiful and ethereal in the light. Even the kiss-

Well, Azusa had called out ‘Mazel Tov’ just like everyone else had.

And now, after bride and groom had left, after all the speeches were given, after the breaking of the glass and Golda’s blessings, after the reading of the ketubah, now they were finally back inside, everyone dancing and eating and Azusa felt lighter than she had in such a long time.

She was smiling despite herself, watching the guests laugh amongst themselves and clapping as Stein and Marie came to the center of the circle where just a few moments ago a Hora had taken place, and before that, the Mezinke dance. And there was Marie grinning and golden and radiant.

Azusa had never seen her best friend _so_ happy, before.

It felt good, to see her that way.

There was a bump against her shoulder, breaking her out of her stupor as she sipped at champagne, tempted to get some red wine to ‘accidentally’ spill over her dress. Marie’s wedding gown, somehow, was holding up beautiful. The bridesmisses and bridesmaids gowns? Not so much.

Still. She couldn’t be sour about even _that_ much.

When she turned, looking at who bumped her, she immediately felt at ease.

“You did a good job,” Nygus said, and when Azusa turned to look at her, she realized they were arm to arm.

“Thanks,” Azusa said, simply, but the soft smile on her face didn’t slide off. In fact, seeing Nygus next to her. . .it couldn’t help but get wider. Azusa bit at her lip for a moment, watching the couples in the crowd. Soul and Maka were in the corner, clumsily dancing to their own beat. And, god bless them, it seemed as though Kim might have finally noticed that Jackie was interested in being more than friends, because they were giggling at their table, holding hands and rubbing their thumbs over each other’s palms. Liz and Tsubaki, likewise, were clapping for Stein and Marie in the circle, elbows interlinked. Sid and Spirit, probably already drunk, were likely in the bathroom, making out.

Who said she had to wait for her happiness?

“I was wondering,” Azusa started, leaning closer to Nygus for just a second, noticing the small grin on her face, too, “if you’d like to dance?”

Nygus blinked at her for a moment, looking somewhat surprised when the smile curled back over her face, somehow even more radiant than before. Azusa felt something giddy rush up inside of her.

“You sure?” she asked, her dreadlocks done up in a gorgeous updo, collarbones shimmering with highlighter and hideous dress somehow less hideous on her.

Azusa nodded, holding out her elbow for Nygus to take, which she did in just a moment, walking out to the dance floor and not breaking eye contact the entire time, even as Azusa dropped her hands to Nygus’ hips.

She wouldn’t have been able to tell anyone what music was playing, though she was sure it was the klezmer, as they swayed and swayed and swayed. The world narrowed to just them, to Azusa looking at Nygus, their eyes locked.

Quickly, she felt Nygus rub her thumbs against her back, and she all but melted to her, breathing in deep before she gently rested her forehead against Nygus’ shoulder. From the side, if she opened her eyes, she was sure that Marie would be turning to look at her as she danced with Stein, smiling at the two of them, but at the moment, Azusa wasn’t thinking of Marie.

She had her happiness. A lot of it. Azusa wanted some of her own.

With Nygus, it was so _warm_ , next to her. Azusa had had danced with others before, of course she had, but Nygus was still soft and comfortable, stable, safe. She remembered every moment Nygus was there, every time they shared looks across the room, and her arms came up, around Nygus’ neck, her fingers tangled in her dreadlocks.

It felt like they were resonating, except. . .almost different. Like they were on the same page, but connected in different ways. And Azusa couldn’t help but smile. There was something fizzy and giddy and happy, though in her, there was still some kind of hurt, sad, but unknotting, and she felt Nygus’ hand climb down until it rested on the small of her back.

“So. . .that women you liked as a child,” Azusa started, having done so much soul searching the past couple of days and come to a few realizations from all the dropped hints, “it was me, wasn’t it?”

Nygus stiffened in her hold before she relaxed, noticing that Azusa wasn’t pulling away. “What if it was?”

“I wish you had told me,” Azusa said, still swaying with Nygus, even as the song changed and the beat was off. She didn’t much care, however.

“Yeah? What would you have done, then?” Nygus asked, genuinely interested in what the answer would be.

“I don’t know,” Azusa admitted. “I don’t think I would have done anything, back then.”

She felt Nygus nod from her position next to her, and their skirts swept up against each other, making a strange, scratchy sound, but Azusa couldn’t be bothered by that.

“What about now?” Nygus asked, instead, finally pulling back so that they were arms-length from each other and they could look at one another. Azusa searched the other woman’s face. How many times had Nygus been there for her through this all? Through everything before? Something swelled inside her ribcage, her heart or her soul, she couldn’t much tell, but it felt. . .nice.

“Now. . .I really want to dance with you.”

Nygus crooked a smile. “We can do that.” Azusa smiled back at her, instantly, bringing her hand behind her and grabbing up Nygus’ so she could intertwine their fingers.

“Thank you,” she said, and Nygus shook her head, laughing before she tugged Azusa closer, feeling her heart beating as they swayed.

It might not have been on beat with the music, but they were certainly on beat with each other.

* * *

 " _Who's that woman, woman?_

_Is that woman, woman?_

_Be my woman. Won't you see me in the dark?”_

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Resbang 2016! Huge shout out goes to bendandcurl on Tumblr for letting me use her idea of Azusa talking to Jackie, and also to messofthejess, a phenomenal writer who served as my informal beta! You deserve the world.
> 
> Quotes from:  
> 1\. "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You" by Black Kids  
> 2\. "I Could Have Been Your Girl" by She and Him  
> 3\. "She" by Dodie Clark  
> 4\. "Jenny" by the Studio Killers  
> 5\. "Lean On" by Major Lazer  
> 6\. "Woman Woman" by Awolnation


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